From Gratitude to Entitlement

Trisha and I just completed week four of Financial Peace University. We have been a part of financial classes before, I have taught Sunday series on financial management, but when we made a decision to move from the marketplace back into ministry, we knew that we had to get our finances under control. We chose to take a significant pay reduction to go back into ministry, so knowing where our money goes and why it is going to those places is a “no brainer” for us. I am ashamed it has taken us this long to take this class, because it has been a game changer for us.

What I am more ashamed of is the junk this class has revealed in my heart. As Trisha and I have talked through our budget, it is pretty obvious that some of our spending patterns are going to change. As the numbers have been put on paper and values assigned to each category, I’ve noticed my attitude shift. I’d love to say that I’ve had a heart of gratitude for the provision of God. I’d love to say that I have been so grateful in a down economy to have a consistent paycheck. I’d love to tell you that I’ve been joy filled during each conversation about our new budget, knowing that I don’t even deserve to be in ministry.

Sadly, that hasn’t been the case. My heart drifts. I drift from gratitude to entitlement. “I deserve to have this car, this house, these clothes, and this furniture! I have earned the right to buy what I want, when I want.” What God has revealed to me in this class, is that entitlement with my money is just the symptom of a much larger heart disease. Entitlement constantly threatens to erode gratitude from every area of my life.

I am tempted to put gratitude on the shelf in my marriage and feel entitled to have my way or my say. I am confronted with the choice between gratitude and entitlement as I serve in the church. Will I be grateful for the role that I play or will I try to prove how much more I deserve with my experience and expertise? Rather than being thankful for the privilege I have to be a father to my three boys, I let them know how much I deserve a break from them.  Instead of being grateful for differences of perspective, I feel threatened when a friend doesn’t see something the way that I see it.

My heart is sick with a sense of entitlement and it pushes gratitude to the outside. The antidote for me is found in Philippians 2:6

“Though He was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.”

Too often I am trying to cling to things I think I deserve instead of being humble enough to see everything as a gift and living through a heart of gratitude.

Am I alone on this? Anyone else struggle with entitlement and forget to be grateful?