Seasons
My wife, Trisha and I are coming up on the four year anniversary of our separation. Each year at this time, since that event, I spend a lot of time reflecting. I re-read my prayer journal, and think about the second chance I have been given. What has been so obvious to me the past few weeks are the seasons that God has allowed and continues to allow me to go through. Seasons of great heartache, seasons of tremendous pain, seasons of questioning and doubt, seasons of indescribable joy, seasons of undeserved success, seasons of great intimacy with Him, seasons of unbearable isolation and loneliness. There are times that I feel crazy because no matter how much I pray, how much I journal, how much I talk with Trisha, I can’t make sense of the season in which God has me. It is maddening at times, and I feel like a failure as a leader, husband and father. I am supposed to understand the direction of my life.
As I think about people in Scripture, their life seemed to line up with mine. Jacob went through a season of being deceitful, then a season of running. Joseph went through a season of being the favorite, then a season of being resented, then a season of being forgotten in an Egyptian prison, then a season of great success. Moses went through a season of slavery, a season of being a fugitive, a season of being a shepherd, a season of being the deliverer, a season of being resented by people for delivering, and then a season of waiting to die so the people of Israel could enter the promise land. I often wonder if they struggled like I do to make sense of the variety of seasons of their life.
The truth about me is that I love to talk about change. I love to inspire others to change. I find great joy in bringing about change in an organization or ministry. But I resist it and often resent it in my own life. I am so grateful that God loves me exactly as I am, but He refuses to leave me that way. Could it be possible that he authors seasons in our life to bring about transformation that wouldn’t occur without the the gift of seasons? How much more like Christ would I be today if I would embrace the seasons of my soul rather than psychoanalyzing them, resisting them or resenting them?
Maybe you find yourself in a season of change today. It might be a season of pain. You didn’t do anything to deserve the pain, it has been imposed on you. Maybe you are in a season of loneliness. Maybe it is a season of success, maybe a season of failure. Maybe you’re in a season of doubt and questioning. I’d like to encourage with you a few things today:
1. Take heart, your in a season that won’t last forever. No matter where you are right now, you won’t be there forever. You won’t be lonely forever. You won’t be successful for ever. You won’t be a failure forever. You won’t doubt forever. You won’t be sad forever. The pain won’t last forever. God has you in this season for a time, and for a purpose…which leads me to the second truth.
2. Embrace this season. Continue to seek God in your success, in your loneliness, in your pain, in your doubt, in your failure. The more you embrace the season you are in the more you allow God’s Spirit to work in your life to prepare you for what is next. There is a “NEXT”…even when it doesn’t feel like it. God is working in your life right now to mold you and shape you to be who He longs for you to be.
God’s purpose for our life isn’t happiness, it is Holiness. From what I have learned, it is through seasons of change that God moves more of His holiness into more of my heart.
What seasons are you experiencing these days?
