Tunnel of Chaos
Several years ago, I heard Bill Hybels give a talk about relationships. He talked about a critical phase that every relationship needs to go through in order grow in intimacy and trust. He called this phase the “Tunnel of Chaos”. His point was that everything within us will want to avoid the tunnel of chaos, to try to attain intimacy without having to go through the tunnel of chaos, will be tempted to think that life will be easier and the relationship will function just fine without going through the tunnel of chaos. What he concluded is any relationship that isn’t willing to pay the price and go through the tunnel of chaos, is one that will never function as God intended and will always leave you longing for more.
What I have learned about my own journey is that there are tunnels of chaos that exist in certain seasons and in other areas of life. In the past, I have been so tempted to try to avoid chaos, to try to control chaos, to try to pretend like everyone else experienced chaos in their life except me. For me, pretending was safer than being honest and vulnerable.
If I am honest today, I am in a season of chaos. I sense it as I try to learn what it means to be back in ministry. I can feel it as my kids have gone to new schools and are building new friendships. I feel it as Trisha and I are wrestling with finances and ministry roles and margin and quality of time verses quantity of time. I feel it as I try to be a follow of Christ first, a great husband to my wife second, a father to my kids third and a pastor to a church where all of my relationships are brand new, fourth. I have a sense that God is taking me through a tunnel of chaos in so many areas of my life these days.
The only thing that I know for certain as I write this is that I will not avoid the tunnel of chaos. I will not take a shortcut. I will not try to undermine the process and the journey that God has me on. I am willing to pay the price of the tunnel of chaos now, so I can experience intimacy and closeness with God that He longs for me to have. The pain of avoiding the tunnel of chaos is so much greater than the discomfort of pushing through the tunnel. It gets dark at times, but by God’s grace, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Have there been seasons in your life where you have experienced a tunnel of chaos?
