Doing Vs. Being
I am in a season right now that is so challenging. It is not a new season, but a reoccurring one. It is something that I have struggled with my entire life, and vocational ministry accelerates the struggle and can lengthen the season. I am wrestling with the balance of “Doing vs. Being”.
This battle seeps into every area of my life. I know I am struggling with this when it is much easier for me to do what a good dad does, than to be a good dad. It is much easier to go to a basketball game, to help with homework, to say a prayer before bed, than it is to stop pause the game and listen to my son, or to ask (and mean it) how their day was at school and talk with them through issues that they had. Being a father becomes a checklist.
It is easier to do what a good husband does, than to be a good husband. It is easier to help around the house, to run errands, to help get the kids to school than it is to take the time to understand my wife’s heart. Doing what a good husband does just takes a little time, being a good husband takes investment and desire.
It is easier to do things for God, than it is to just be with God. It is easy to write messages, pray for meals when your out with people from church, give Godly advice, return emails and phone calls all in the name of Jesus. The lines between ministry and my own relationship with God get blurred and distorted. I think about spending time with God, I just don’t. I think about journaling, but I don’t. I think about praying, but I don’t. I have a check list, and that check list allows me to do a bunch for God, and not BE with Him.
I know a lot has been written on this subject and everyone always quotes John 15, and the vine and the branches, and I can’t do anything apart from Jesus. I know all of that. The solution comes down to not just knowing the right answers, but making a decision to be the right person.
I am sure I am not the only person that struggles with this. Do you struggle with DOING Vs. BEING? How have you learned to recognize it and deal with it?
19 Comments to “Doing Vs. Being”
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Thanks Justin for this…
I am there right now. Living in "survival mode" as opposed to thriving mode. I need to do what I tell others to do a immerse myself in Him and let Him give me focus for the things that are most important, not those that are most urgent.
Jason…I love how you phrased this…survival mode opposed to thriving mode. I want to thrive in every area of my life, not just survive! Thanks man!
Yeah, for sure! We all struggle, but I feel like it has a lot more to do w/ the Holy Spirit and tapping into His power than it does me trying to do it on my own or "be" it on my own. This is a really good post. I feel like if I just spend a few minutes listening to Him, then all the rest falls right into place. I've noticed that lately. It's about learning to hear His voice. If I take a minute listening BEFORE I write that email or do that task, things just fall into place in an orderly fashion, which makes sense since God's a God of order. Again, good post. Thanks for you honesty.
Anon…great thoughts. I think it is the Holy Spirit prompting me to pray, prompting me to read my Bible, prompting me to journal…when I choose not to, I am choosing to do rather than be…thanks for your thoughts!
I had a pastor who would ask: "Are you a human being or a human doing?" In trying to overcome this problem — I have learned to say NO more often — which is food for another blog!
Great thoughts Susan! Thank you!
Absolutely I struggle with this. I do so much during the day and feel so empty inside when the day is over. I want to be living a life of meaning and purpose and BEING but in reality I'm just doing every single day. The more I just DO, the more I feel empty. Yet I can't seem to break from the DOING to get to the BEING and it's like I'm an ouroboros.
I wish I had some advice to give you on how to deal with it. I hope someday to find it.
Jason…it is journey, and not a sprint. Recognizing the struggle is half of the problem!
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Dude, Pull the dagger out for me. You ran me thru with this one. Like a pilot has to do his pre flight check list maybe ours is so we are sure to cover all items. When we get it right we will be ready to fly.
Great thoughts Gene! Didn't mean to stab you!
This speaks to me for sure!
My Tweet last night spoke to this. " I feel like the energizer bunny and I am going and going… Somebody please take the battery out so I can stop!
I am constantly doing and making sure everything is just right. It makes me so tired. It is do hard to make myself just stop!
I find I am closest to God and the most happy when I just STOP and really just be. I love my drives to work and my Tuesday lunch dates with my hubby, the one on one times with my kids during the week. and the times I can really just devote to God and others in my life and there is no real agenda but to " Be" together. Hard to stop and just do that sometimes.
Convicting! Good thoughts!
I think every person has been or is where you are! Thanks for being so honest and I am sure just coming to terms with where you are is the first step in allowing God to move you to BE more with Him.
Man did you HIT the nail RIGHT on the Head… The big fat DOING/not "enough" head! This rings OH so true to us, task oriented, to do list type of people. Or for the ones that have struggled with rejection and just keep on trying to DO in order to BE….. Be a part of "the crowd" or of something! I agree with Susan on learning to say NO more often…..However, what happens is, we tend to think that because were being asked to do things FOR God, it takes place of our BEING w/Him (my opinion)
Thanks so much for your athuenticity!
I think you are so right…so often, doing things for God is equated with being with Him. Thank you for your thoughts!
Thanks for your honesty and transparency, Justin. It is so true – I've found myself in a phase of just existing and not engaging. Although I'm not sure why, it is really comforting to know that others (even pastors!) go through these same valleys. But you are right, no matter how much head knowledge you have, it has to make it to the heart to make a difference. To quote a sermon I heard over the weekend, you have to be "willing to be made willing".
Peace.
Justin, this one is so important. I believe it's a mindset & a state of the heart. If my heart & mind say that I am supposed to be busy doing important things & that worth & effectiveness is found in activity, then rest becomes something to protect rather than enjoy, & reading the Bible centering on God becomes a thing to DO that I avoid, or even resent. So, I have to change the mindset rather than strategizing the activity.
One more thing: I think ministry in our generation places too high an emphasis on activity that we discourage ourselves from the most important practice of reflection and study. It's not "cool" to slow down. It doesn't look like success to slow down — but, it's sustaining and nourishing, I am finding. And I think I lead, teach, parent, love my wife, and interact with others BETTER when I am living from that slower, more reflective place, rather than the busy one. When I was in full-time ministry I crashed and burned, ultimately, because I replaced my internal spirituality with my external spirituality. I thought the outward things were sufficient to sustain me. I found out too late that what I was doing was draining myself dry. That was my hard lesson and I continue to remember that so that I never fall into that hole again. It's a daily and weekly battle. Thanks for your honesty, bro.
Absolutely I struggle with this. I do so much during the day and feel so empty inside when the day is over. I want to be living a life of meaning and purpose and BEING but in reality I'm just doing every single day. The more I just DO, the more I feel empty. Yet I can't seem to break from the DOING to get to the BEING and it's like I'm an ouroboros.
I wish I had some advice to give you on how to deal with it. I hope someday to find it.