Listen More, Speak Less
Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others. -Proverbs 12:15
We are in this 31 Day Challenge at our church, Cross Point. This verse really hit me hard as I read it the other day. I remember almost 8 years ago now when Trisha and I moved to Noblesville, Indiana to start Genesis Church. I was going to change the way church was done. I was convinced that no other church was doing church in the way it should be done…my way of doing church was right. I would meet with other local pastors and I’d hear their advice, I’d nod my head in agreement, all the while thinking “You just don’t get it. You have no idea how great the church we are going to launch is going to be!”
As I look back over the past 14 years of my marriage, the same pattern exists. I always thought I was right. I always had a plan. I was always trying to convince Trisha that we could pay this bill later so we could buy this now. We could trade in this car and roll the negative equity into the payment on our next one. We could refinance our house and take out some cash and because real estate is going up so much, we’ll make the money back in no time.
The majority of my adult life consisted of talking…convincing people how right I was…proving my point. When Trisha and I separated, I realized how wrong I had been in so many areas of my life. I wasn’t a good listener. I listened, but only so I could gather information to use in making my point even more. One of the ways God has transformed my heart and brought about radical change in my life is in giving me a desire to listen more, and speak less.
As I read through the comments from the post “What’s Destroying Your Marriage?” , I see a common theme…communication. So many couples who responded to the question say that communication is an issue. Maybe, for you, like me, communication is the symptom of a bigger issue, pride.
How could your relationships improve if you listened more and spoke less? Who do you need to listen to more often?
