3 Months Earlier
Yesterday, I asked Trisha if she had read the blog post I had written. I usually talk through each post with her before I write and she speaks into areas that I should change or reconsider. She knew what I was writing about, but she hadn’t read it, yet. She pulled it up and began to read. She stopped about half-way through and just said, “Wow, you’ve had some intense posts this week. I don’t know if I can handle this one right now.” I began to second guess the post and wonder if I had been too harsh, too intense, too confrontational, too legalistic, etc.
She could see that my feelings were hurt and so she told me how much she loved what I had written, but she was just emotionally spent. I began to tear up, and it was hard to speak. She asked me what was wrong? I just said, ”What if the pastor who confessed the affair to his wife would have found our blog 3 months earlier? What if I could have had a conversation with him 3 months ago, before the affair ever started.” By now, tears are streaming down my face. “People don’t have to go through hell like we did to have what we have,” I said. Her response was so sweet and so true, “Honey, you can’t save them, only Jesus can.”
The truth is that my conversation with a guy I’ve never met, from a state I’ve never been to, literally minutes before he confessed his affair rocked me. I have had a sense of urgency this week. Urgency to pray, urgency to speak truth, urgency to write, urgency to go back to the dark parts of my heart and expose them so others can avoid the path that I chose. Marriages are at stake. Hearts are at stake. Families are at stake. Kids are at stake. Churches are at stake. I can write and I can pray and I can share our journey…but only Jesus has the power to change a human heart.
My simple prayer today is that THIS DAY is 3 MONTHS EARLIER in someone’s life. Maybe an affair won’t start because God brought you here. Maybe a friendship won’t disintegrate 3 months from now. Maybe a marriage won’t crumble because you won’t make the same mistakes that destroyed our marriage. Maybe 3 months from now your marriage, your family, your life will be more refined, not because of any post we’ve written, but only because of the mercy and grace of a God who loves you, and longs to refine you.
17 Comments to “3 Months Earlier”
Leave a Reply
thank you for writing. i also wish he would have seen it before, but we can't change the past. i can't live in the what ifs – it will drive me insane. the amazing things you're doing for him right now…i just can't thank you enough. you both share yourselves and give of yourselves so unselfishly. i agree with you in prayer! God, PLEASE change the heart, the life, the family of someone because of what you have brought the Davis family through. fill Justin and Trish up. refresh them. give them more of You so they can pour You out.
thank you both for what you do. i wish i could say more, but thank you.
Vicky…we are so thankful for your sweet words and your prayers. Please know we will be lifting you up in prayer as you go to Colorado.
Thank you Justin for sharing. Im crying as I write this. Yes we can't go back but we can speak the truth and be ready to share. We never know who or how it might help/encourage someone. You all have encouraged me so much. Thank you!
Thank you so much Pam!
Yes it is harsh, some tough posts… but so needed & so true! I only wish that someone would have knocked some sense in my before I walked down the road I took. The internet doesn't typically have anything much to discourage the idea of infidelity either. Keep posting your posts… I BELIEVE that God will use if for the person(s) who need to hear it….
Thanks so much Kristina!
Well, Justin, for what it's worth…I appreciate you. Your posts this week have been hard and some of the best you've written since I've followed you but they're necessary. You're right…people don't need to go through the hell you and I have experienced in our lives to get to where you are in life.
Honestly, you're an inspiration to a guy like me who God has chosen not to bring as far back from hell as he has with you. You give me hope that my life might someday be better than the meaningless survival of the day that it is right now. I'll be joining in your prayer because I don't want anyone else to have to walk the path I've had to go down.
Thank you so much Jason…God’s timing isn’t ours. Praying for you and your journey.
Justin, what amazing timing your blog post plays in my life. I was just currently talking about how we can over think the impact potential in our posts instead of just hitting "publish" and moving on. We may never know the timing or impact that our words may affect some one, or even that they will. I do believe that we are just catalyst for God to really come in and do what He does best.
daniel's last post was "hope never comes too late" http://tinyurl.com/yz7txxq
Thanks for your transparency yet once again. Your blog is one of my favorites out there. Keep doing what you're doing. It's making a difference.
Daniel, thank you so much for your words! It is great to know that even when you don't realize it, being faithful to what God has called you to matters. I've loved your blog as well, bro!
WOW!! Justin, now I am in tears as well. I know where you are coming from and I so appreciate your transparency and the heart you have for people. I too can't wait to see what what God is going to give you to blog about each day. I send on so many of your posts on to friends.
Stay strong in the Lord and in His call on your life!
Praying for you and Trisha as well!
Thank you Alison! Thank you for your prayers, too!
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." – Matthew 5:4
Your heart breaks because Jesus' heart breaks. This is good news! And he will carry the weight for you.
(A recent post I wrote on this: http://mylifebyfaith.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/it-...
Um, experience.
It often seems that the experiences that we have had which are painful are what we want to try to "save" other folks from. We know the heartache of it & want to put up huge road-blocks that say, "TURN AROUND! DANGER AHEAD!"
Often we want to do everything we can to stop it from happening to other people.
Your wife is wise. Only Jesus saves.
He may use you, your testimony, your blog, your opportunities to help someone re-think the course that they are taking, but we are not allowed to make these choices (or stop them) for other people.
If you will forgive me, tho your intentions are good, what you are desiring is a form of witchcraft – influencing the outcome of actions, behaviors, choices outside your power. That is God's place.
I agreed with you up to the point of you saying I am desiring a form of witchcraft. Not sure I get where you are coming from or where you are going on that one. I see no Biblical reference for what you are trying to say.
This posting hit me right on the head, thank you! This is "3 months before" for me because at times during this horrible time I have seriously considered having an affair of my own for revenge. I want to show my husband how much it hurts to be betrayed and deceived….yet I know that is not what Jesus would have me do.
Then I will come back to my senses and realize that Satan is trying to destroy me and my marriage even more.
Sometimes I wonder if my husband is really sorry and regrets his 2 year affair. Does he miss her? Is he bored with me? Is he telling the truth when he says it makes him sick when he sees her?
Yes, I am still filled with doubt, mistrust, and fears.
Again, thank you for your site, it is helping me to hang on and not creating a disaster of having my own 2 year affair.
Well, Justin, for what it's worth…I appreciate you. Your posts this week have been hard and some of the best you've written since I've followed you but they're necessary. You're right…people don't need to go through the hell you and I have experienced in our lives to get to where you are in life.
Honestly, you're an inspiration to a guy like me who God has chosen not to bring as far back from hell as he has with you. You give me hope that my life might someday be better than the meaningless survival of the day that it is right now. I'll be joining in your prayer because I don't want anyone else to have to walk the path I've had to go down.