One Thing: Part 5-Pete and Brandi
When I (Justin) think of Pete and Brandi Wilson, I think of Proverbs 18:24: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Our friendship with Pete and Brandi, that started 9 years ago, was truly a God-appointed friendship that has stood the test of time. They walked beside us when we were broken and hurting and helped love us back to health. They’ve had such an impact on our marriage and our ministry, we are excited and thankful they are sharing their “ONE THING” with you today.
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We embarked on this road called marriage 13 years ago and what journey it’s been. We’re like a lot of you. The boy hit on the girl in college and we quickly became inseparable. Our evenings included late night phone calls where we thought we’d never run out of things to talk about. We spent late nights curled up in a blanket sharing the dreams of our future under our favorite oak tree.
Communication was so effortless in those early days… then “life” started. We both began new jobs, started a church and married all by the age of 22. The days of staying up late and dreaming together were few and far between. It seemed everyone needed something from us that always took priority over one another.
Our communication went from effortless to non-existent. We weren’t prepared for healthy marital communication to require work. We never expected communication to be a vital aspect of our marriage that required so much intentionality… so much deliberateness.
Leaving healthy communication out of our marriage quickly put us on two parallel paths rather than a united journey.
One thing we wish we had been told before going into our marriage is that marriage will always take work, communication always has to be intentional. Even after 13 years of marriage we work hard… we believe our marriage is a priority and take the time to sit down and talk together.
The communication factor in our marriage will always be an issue, we’ll never perfect it. However, we’re both aware of our shortcomings and for us awareness is half the battle.
23 Comments to “One Thing: Part 5-Pete and Brandi”
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"Communication has to be intentional" — that will stick with me. Thanks.
I remember how incredibly easy and engaging the conversations were for Steph and I when we were dating. I probably assumed that conversation was the same thing as communication, which it’s clearly not. It’s been 7 years now and our marriage is good, but this series you’ve been doing is a good reminder to me about how intentional we must be to keep things healthy and life-giving.
I love the statement you make about how conversation isn't the same as communication. I want to chew on that for a while….really spoke to my heart!
Chris, I love your point as well. Conversation isn't the same as communication… very true indeed!
My husband and are were similar. We dated for four years and spent those nights up late talking, getting to know each other, just being with each other. Over the last nearly nine years the communication wasn't as strong. Whether it was just assuming the other knew or not wanting to confront certain situations. Over the last year or so we've seen God strengthen our communication and open those lines back up.
You know, you can gain a lot of wisdom from Homer Simpson, by using the inverse of the point he is trying to make. For example, he once said:
"That's the problem with most marriages: communication….too much communication."
Reason #211 why I love you! ! Great and life changing comment!
yup, probably wanna of the biggest factors in a struggling marriage: lack of communication.
think about all the other posts here this week…if there had been healthy communication from the very beginning much of the hurt, rejection and bad choices might have been avoided.
"Communication always has to be intentional." What a great way to put it. Unless you make the effort to really communicate there's no way it's going to just happen by osmosis. That kind of wisdom is why I love being under Pete's teachings.
I'm going out on a limb here and calling "Brandi wrote this"….just sayin
you're a genius!!!
Not really, and not knowing either of you, was just guessing…but if Pete had written… "We spent late nights curled up in a blanket sharing the dreams of our future under our favorite oak tree." …I probably wouldn't be going to his blog or watching his messages online anymore :0)
Seriously though…."honesty" "communication"…the last two topics really sum it up for me. If God was our focus and those two topics consumed I doublt we would be in the place we are today.
Well, knowing Pete, I wouldn't have put it past him!
"for us awareness is half the battle"
This is a perfect example of communication. Communication takes two people seeing and hearing each other. To be aware, is to communicate a desire to see and hear each other. Love it!
oh hey! i wasnt aware you were here.
Arent you funny
We've been married almost 33 years and it has had some rough spots. One of the major turning points in our marriage came after a period of not being able to communicate well with each other about anything! We went to our pastor and these words have changed the way I communicate with my husband as well as others. "Speak without offending (you can tell the truth in love or wait until you can) and Listen without defending (building the debate in your head while they are talking closes your ears and heart to what is really being said.)" Speak without offending and listen without defending. Saved my marriage.
"Listen without Defending"….dang.
I love this Deb…I am stealing this for my message this weekend!
WOW – that's awesome: Speak without offending and Listen without defending – thank you for sharing that – I need help on both counts
I loved this one too. I know this was one of our biggest issues.
Communication has to always be Intentional!
Conversation is not the same as Communication!
Speak without Offending and Listen without Defending!
Awesome! If I had done those things, I might still be married today!
Wow. this is so true. Thank you for sharing. The whole communication has to be intentional thing I don't think is just true for marriage but all close relationships.
Awareness is half the battle is a very true statement for my husband and I as well! Thanks Brandi!