Giftedness > Character
When everything melted down with our marriage in 2005, I had a lot of time to reflect and evaluate all the small mistakes that I made that led to the affair. What we realized was the affair was just a symptom of much deeper issues in my life. A few months after we got back together a friend said something to me that I’ll never forget that has changed the way that I live to this day:
“When your giftedness outweighs your character, implosion is on the horizon.”
What I realized is that I had spent so much of my life focused on becoming a better leader, a better communicator, a more gifted vision caster…over and over and over again I had neglected to grow my character at the same rate I was developing my gifts.
When you and I are more committed to gifts and talents and personality and ability than we are to character, it isn’t a matter of IF your life will implode, it is a matter of WHEN your life will implode.
The problem is character isn’t usually what impresses people at first. People are more impressed with good leadership ability than they are character. People are more impressed with a dynamic personality than they are character. People notice a strong worth ethic more than they do strong ethics. People drool over a person’s speaking ability and ability to motivate others to action than they do his/her character.
You want to know the biggest reason we sacrifice character development for talent development? We can fake character. You can’t fake talent, you either have it or you don’t…but you can fake integrity. We can cover up our inner junk. We can pretend away moral compromise and we can use our giftedness to cast such a large shadow over our lack of character development, no one notices.
Maybe you have a relationship that’s in trouble because you haven’t grown your character. You’ve relied on your ability to talk your way out of things and persuade and those chances have run out. Maybe your marriage is in trouble because you have consistently compromised integrity and neglected character because you could get away with it. Maybe you have trouble holding down a job because you can impress them with your ability, until they discover your character.
This is a principle that you can’t get away from. It took it 10 years to catch up with me; and man how I wish I had stopped running from it 9 years earlier. It would have been much less painful.
When your gifts, talents, personality, ability outweigh your character, implosion is on the horizon.
Do you struggle like me to develop your character at the same rate you develop your gifts?
17 Comments to “Giftedness > Character”
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Great observation. There are tools everywhere for developing skills and abilities, but where does one go to build character?
My only thought on building character is through God's word and through Godly people around me. I have seen over and over again in my life God speaking through his word and my decision to listen or not listen often determines the depth of my character.
Fake integrity…oh man…I've been there and I see it everywhere. I think I see it easier now because I finally woke up and realized it within myself. I know first hand that talent won't do it. Integrity really won't do it either although it helps. It's one of the places I really needed Jesus to work in my life.
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Thanks Jason! So true about Jesus working in our lives…really our only hope.
"…but you can fake integrity" wow, so true!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting it this way.
In a few short paragraphs, you’ve summed up so much of this season of my life.
I’ve been studying Romans 12 this morning, and am reminded we must first offer ourselves and be transformed before we’ll ever truly latch on to our true potential, which I have to believe, exceeds anything we could manufacture on our own efforts.
Thanks for being so transparent about these first-hand lessons from your lives.
Josh…so true! I often settle for what I can manufacture on my own rather than what God longs to give me! Thanks for your comment!
Thanks for this powerful nugget of wisdom.
Too often I gloss over the integrity/character issue…assuming all is well and no addition work is needed. In a moment of personal reflection, that is truly a prideful assumption.
Just when I think that no work is needed…I realize that I need some work
"you can fake Integrity"–so true…been there and done that! Now working on truely developing character.
Thanks for your lessons learned and your transparency!
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Thank you Alison!
This is great stuff bro. I've experienced this as well. Working around a lot of very talented people, musicians, artists, creatives, etc, it's easy for me to look at those people and point this out. But the truth is, it's just a cancerous in my own life and I have to regularly keep it in check.
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Thanks Grant…I am sure if your like me, it is so easy to see this in others, and very difficult at times to see it in myself.
This a great insight. Something that I have run into and seen in others, but never could put into words. Well spoken!
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Thanks Kevin, glad you joined the conversation!
SO in line with where my heart's been lately. i've been pondering the truth that we need to focus on developing our character more than our calling. because i've experienced firsthand the devastating fall-out of what happens when the opposite is true.
I love the way you put that…devloping our character more than our calling…good stuff! Thank you Alece!