May 25, 2010 in Uncategorized with 46 Comments

Your Greatest Hurdle

Yesterday on Twitter, someone posted a quote from C.S. Lewis. The quote caught my attention and sat with me for most of the day.

Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment or even common sense.

So often when Trish and I share our story, people naturally focus on what was visible…the affair. But there was a cancer of heart and soul that ate away at me for years.  That cancer was pride.

What is weird is that for many of us who are prideful, our pride is actually born not out of confidence, but out of insecurity. When we are insecure, we try to convince ourselves and others just how worthy and talented and gifted we are…that posture comes across as pride. Pride is a cancer that will eat us alive.

I often take shots on our blog, when we speak, when we share our story that I’m “living in the past.” But there is something healthy about acknowledging my sickness. There is something sacred about remembering the God who can cure heart cancer.

What we have realized is that pride is the cause of so many issues. We meet with couples who are struggling in their marriage; Trisha talks to a friend that has been hurt by a friend…what it usually goes back to is pride.

Pride…

-It’s why you’re not satisfied with the house you live in

-It’s why you feel entitled to that job or that promotion

-It’s why you won’t say you’re sorry

-It’s why you talk to your wife like she’s a dog

-It’s why you pretend to be closer to God than you really are

-It’s why you spend money you don’t have to impress people you don’t even like

-It’s why you won’t forgive

-It’s why you don’t respect your husband

-It’s why you refuse to admit you’re wrong

Pride is probably your greatest hurdle to become the man or the woman that God created you to be. Pride longs to rob you, to cheat you, to convince you that life is best lived looking out for you.

It is a cancer that will one day take over your heart. The great news today is that pride’s defeat begins by recognizing its presence. It is hard to admit, but so freeing.

What does pride look like in your life, marriage, relationships?

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  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/drayburn Dusty Rayburn

    Thank you for sharing this truth. I struggle with pride in my own life and could resonate with several of the statements you made above.

    "…there is something healthy about acknowledging my sickness. There is something sacred about remembering the God who can cure heart cancer."

    Amen!
    My recent post BE!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      I think we all struggle with pride…those that say they don't struggle with honesty :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/drayburn Dusty Rayburn

    Thank you for sharing this truth. I struggle with pride in my own life and could resonate with several of the statements you made above.

    "…there is something healthy about acknowledging my sickness. There is something sacred about remembering the God who can cure heart cancer."

    Amen!
    My recent post BE!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      I think we all struggle with pride…those that say they don't struggle with honesty :)

  • cshell

    Pride has/does consume me…i think pretty much everything I have screwed up on in the past I can track back to my pride and selfishness.

    My frustration is that I am acknowledging it but it is still there. So how do I deal with it in the realm of what scripture teaches….

    Proverbs 29:23 (New International Version)

    23 A man's pride brings him low,
    but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

    Man it is so hard to be a man "of lowly spirit"…i still fight the need to "be right" (i believe you have blogged on that Justin)

    Pray for humbleness in my life…the desire to look inward and refuse to dwell outward.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Love that scripture…have reflected on it many times!

  • cshell

    Pride has/does consume me…i think pretty much everything I have screwed up on in the past I can track back to my pride and selfishness.

    My frustration is that I am acknowledging it but it is still there. So how do I deal with it in the realm of what scripture teaches….

    Proverbs 29:23 (New International Version)

    23 A man's pride brings him low,
    but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

    Man it is so hard to be a man "of lowly spirit"…i still fight the need to "be right" (i believe you have blogged on that Justin)

    Pray for humbleness in my life…the desire to look inward and refuse to dwell outward.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Love that scripture…have reflected on it many times!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Kevin_Martineau Kevin_Martineau

    You really hit the nail on the head here Justin. This is something that I have been processing for a while now and as much as I hate to admit it, the cancer of pride is alive in my heart. God is bringing to my attention the many areas (a lot of which you mentioned) that pride is affecting. He is continually doing heart surgery on me!
    My recent post Why can't we?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Thank you for your honesty Kevin.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Kevin_Martineau Kevin_Martineau

    You really hit the nail on the head here Justin. This is something that I have been processing for a while now and as much as I hate to admit it, the cancer of pride is alive in my heart. God is bringing to my attention the many areas (a lot of which you mentioned) that pride is affecting. He is continually doing heart surgery on me!
    My recent post Why can't we?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Thank you for your honesty Kevin.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/aaronshaver Aaron Shaver

    Justin, I really am intrigued by the concept of cancer is a sickness that is largely unseen. And the root sin, so to speak, PRIDE is usually the cause of so many other problems and wrong attitudes and destructive behaviors…but is also largely unseen.

    I'm gonna guard my heart against the unseen.

    Thanks, Justin.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Guarding our heart against the unseen seems the least urgent, but is the most critical.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/aaronshaver Aaron Shaver

    Justin, I really am intrigued by the concept of cancer is a sickness that is largely unseen. And the root sin, so to speak, PRIDE is usually the cause of so many other problems and wrong attitudes and destructive behaviors…but is also largely unseen.

    I'm gonna guard my heart against the unseen.

    Thanks, Justin.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Guarding our heart against the unseen seems the least urgent, but is the most critical.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/lightchild Grant Jenkins

    It feels weird to say I love this because it cut me so deep. You are spot on with this. I have lived and am living this out right now.

    The pride in my life tells me that I am better than the job I am working right now and am entitled to "God's best", as though THIS surely couldn't be "God's best" for this season of my life.

    The pride in my relationships tells me I am better than people around me that struggle with things in their life that I have overcome or pretend I no longer deal with.

    The pride in my life is robbing me of contentment in this season while my entitlement has me trying to find the quickest way out of where God has placed me for now.

    Pride sucks, but your blog post does not. I need a box of band-aids.
    My recent post Eye Check

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Wow…your response was so rich! I love what God is doing in your life right now. There are so many people that God longs to move in like he is moving in you, if they would only allow it. Proud of you bro…a good proud, not a bad pride :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/lightchild Grant Jenkins

    It feels weird to say I love this because it cut me so deep. You are spot on with this. I have lived and am living this out right now.

    The pride in my life tells me that I am better than the job I am working right now and am entitled to "God's best", as though THIS surely couldn't be "God's best" for this season of my life.

    The pride in my relationships tells me I am better than people around me that struggle with things in their life that I have overcome or pretend I no longer deal with.

    The pride in my life is robbing me of contentment in this season while my entitlement has me trying to find the quickest way out of where God has placed me for now.

    Pride sucks, but your blog post does not. I need a box of band-aids.
    My recent post Eye Check

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      Wow…your response was so rich! I love what God is doing in your life right now. There are so many people that God longs to move in like he is moving in you, if they would only allow it. Proud of you bro…a good proud, not a bad pride :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

    im with grant…deep cutting going on here. on so many levels.

    and tho i know my inner most uglies, my outer uglies, i want nothing more to abolish them with the God. with who HE says i am. getting to a place of knowing that my significance in HIM is good enough. no…thats better than anything.

    any pride in me is definitely borne out of insecurity. you SO hit that right on the nail, justin…

    ohmy…i need to go prep for surgery now.
    My recent post you should be….

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      I long to live in that place where finding my significance in Him is enough…I'm there some days, but not all days.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

    im with grant…deep cutting going on here. on so many levels.

    and tho i know my inner most uglies, my outer uglies, i want nothing more to abolish them with the God. with who HE says i am. getting to a place of knowing that my significance in HIM is good enough. no…thats better than anything.

    any pride in me is definitely borne out of insecurity. you SO hit that right on the nail, justin…

    ohmy…i need to go prep for surgery now.
    My recent post you should be….

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

      I long to live in that place where finding my significance in Him is enough…I'm there some days, but not all days.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

    That is a tough prayer to pray…more of him and less of me. I want it, but it often comes at a price!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

    That is a tough prayer to pray…more of him and less of me. I want it, but it often comes at a price!

  • Carrie

    I've been thinking about this since yesterday. Pride doesn't keep me from respecting my husband, but it has caused me to struggle with *admitting* that I do.

    I hate the *idea* of respect and submission. Though I've practiced it – imperfectly – I'm still growing – for years I didn't want anyone to know it. I didn't want to admit that I needed anybody. Not even my husband. I could do everything he could, better. At least, I pretended that I could…

    I know that sounds horrible. I promise, I haven't been that horrible of a wife – it was a lot more subtle than it sounds. We had a good-enough marriage and worked at it a lot.

    We realized in the last year, though, that we needed to start over in some ways and make our marriage great, not just good-enough. It's been tough, but amazing.

  • Carrie

    I've been thinking about this since yesterday. Pride doesn't keep me from respecting my husband, but it has caused me to struggle with *admitting* that I do.

    I hate the *idea* of respect and submission. Though I've practiced it – imperfectly – I'm still growing – for years I didn't want anyone to know it. I didn't want to admit that I needed anybody. Not even my husband. I could do everything he could, better. At least, I pretended that I could…

    I know that sounds horrible. I promise, I haven't been that horrible of a wife – it was a lot more subtle than it sounds. We had a good-enough marriage and worked at it a lot.

    We realized in the last year, though, that we needed to start over in some ways and make our marriage great, not just good-enough. It's been tough, but amazing.

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  • Dangerous Christian

    Pride gives me this spirit of false “entitlement”, that I’m better than others and that I should get all I can from others (giving more back than I give is an option).

    Pride is a cancer. And for one who has loved ones who had the physical cancer I know what damage pride can do.

    God, heal my heart and excise that cancer of pride so I can be the man you desire me to be.

  • Dangerous Christian

    Pride gives me this spirit of false “entitlement”, that I’m better than others and that I should get all I can from others (giving more back than I give is an option).

    Pride is a cancer. And for one who has loved ones who had the physical cancer I know what damage pride can do.

    God, heal my heart and excise that cancer of pride so I can be the man you desire me to be.

  • http://happyrain.org/ Emily

    I long to live in that place where finding my significance in Him is enough…I’m there some days, but not all days.

  • http://happyrain.org/ Emily

    I long to live in that place where finding my significance in Him is enough…I’m there some days, but not all days.

  • Amy

    hat a great post!
    In my life right now, pride is me "debating" with God about obedience to what I clearly hear Him telling me to do.
    I have wrestled with Him for months about giving up something that I wanted to hang on to. Even though there was no doubt in my mind about what He was telling me to do, my pride allowed me to question my own Creator! Who in the world do I think I am??? ;)
    Pride is me thinking I actually know better than God what is best for me.

  • Amy

    hat a great post!
    In my life right now, pride is me "debating" with God about obedience to what I clearly hear Him telling me to do.
    I have wrestled with Him for months about giving up something that I wanted to hang on to. Even though there was no doubt in my mind about what He was telling me to do, my pride allowed me to question my own Creator! Who in the world do I think I am??? ;)
    Pride is me thinking I actually know better than God what is best for me.