Nakedness and Shame

Have you ever bought a new car…it doesn’t have to be brand new car…but a car that was new to you? Before possessing that car, you never really saw one on the road. You could have passed one often, but you never noticed it. But when YOU buy that car, all of a sudden it seems like everyone and their mother has your car. No matter where you go, someone is driving YOUR car. The truth is, they’ve always had YOUR car, but you only notice it after you own it.

For me, the same thing happens when I read Scripture. I have read passages of Scripture hundreds of times, but some how after I recognize an issue or a sin pattern or a fault in my life that particular passage jumps off the page and I notice it in a way I never have before. This happened to me yesterday as Pete was reading Genesis 2:25… “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

There is a shame epidemic in Christianity today. So many people feel ashamed. Ashamed in their friendships. Ashamed in their marriages. Ashamed in their relationship with God. Shame puts a choke-hold on grace. What you experience is living knowing you are free from the penalty of sin, but feeling as though you are not.

What jumps out to me about this passage is that there is a definite connection between nakedness and shame. Naked doesn’t just describe Adam and Eve’s physical appearance…it describes the condition of their heart. It illustrates their relationship with God.

Our willingness to live naked…to live exposed…to come out of hiding will determine the amount of shame with which we live. We can’t understand why we can’t grow in our intimacy with God. We can’t figure out why all of our friendships come to a standstill after the same exact amount of time. We convince ourselves that the pseudo-intimacy we experience in our marriage is as good as the real thing. Shame diminishes our potential for intimacy in every aspect of our life.

God’s desire for us is:

  • Bare
  • Open
  • Exposed
  • Uncovered
  • Honest
  • Known

What we live in is:

  • Hidden
  • Disguised
  • Secret
  • Concealed
  • Buried
  • Unknown

Adam and Eve hid behind fig leaves and thought that God wouldn’t see them.

I hide behind my reputation; my income; my status; my talent; my career; my smile; my ability to fake you out. What this type of hiding leads to is shame…and shame is the enemy of the life God longs for you to have.

Maybe today, you are experiencing shame in your life; in your marriage; in your friendships; in your relationship with God because for some time you have been unwilling to be naked. You have counted the cost of baring your soul and exposing your heart to God or to another…and the cost seems to high.

It will cost you something. To live naked will cost you a lot. But what you will gain is being known and feeling no shame.

Thoughts?

  • Anonymous

    I do feel shame about my past – which is a new feeling for me, coz my friends know me as shameless (lol) But seriously, my mistakes have changed EVERYTHING about me – my confidence level is so low I can’t even see it anymore….

    But I usually lived a naked life – was completely open and honest about most of my life and mistakes .. .and I really have felt recently that that was a mistake in and of itself… now my ‘friends’ are all talking about me and my issues trying to find out more info – and I’ve recently stumbled onto that information…. makes me feel pretty bitter…

  • http://www.jcwert.com Jason Wert

    Wow….brilliant, brilliant, brilliant post.

  • http://reflectionofgrace.wordpress.com/ Brandi

    LOVE THIS.

    Would recommend the book “True Faced” to anyone wanting to dive deeper into this stuff.

  • http://kylajoyful.wordpress.com/ Kylajoyful

    I wrote a post about this recently, as well. I like what you say here, I was just thinking about it again yesterday. Bringing certain parts of my heart into the open was a huge risk, but my heart was strengthened and felt freedom in telling the truth. http://kylajoyful.wordpress.com/2010/07/22/where-are-you/

  • http://twitter.com/allison0105 Allison Roberts

    I try so hard to live “uncovered”. It’s not an easy thing to do but since my divorce I see no other way to help others or move toward healing myself but to be open and raw. Slowly but surely living life outloud is becoming more comfortable. I have a looong way to go. Love this post!

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  • http://silenthearts.wordpress.com/ Morgan MacGavin

    I am trying REALLY hard not to hide because I’ve realized it only makes me a prisoner within my own heart. But sometimes I still hide behind pride and shame and fear of judgement from others.

    GREAT post and things to reflect on!

    • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

      Thanks Morgan! It is a journey!

  • http://www.writeontheknows.wordpress.com Beth Steffaniak

    I like this post. It’s thought-provoking. But honestly, my first reaction is one of caution. I’ve been hurt by some who were not trustworthy with my “nakedness.” I agree that authenticity is absolutely essential to developing trust and humility, but I think we need to be careful about who we are, (excuse the phrase) “naked” with.

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  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    I too would recommend that book…great resource!

  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    Thanks Jason!

  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    Bajanpoet…man I am so sorry to hear all that you are going through. I am praying for you and know that shame isn’t from God. There is a difference in being naked before God and sharing too much of yourself with others. You are in my thoughts.

  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    Great post and great insight! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for taking that huge risk and sharing your heart!

  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    Thanks so much Allison. It is easier said than done, so often!

  • http://refineus.org/ Justin and Trisha

    I am not suggesting we be naked with everyone. (that felt weird just typing that). Obviously, trust is earned in very relationship. My thought is that most of us don’t live this way with God, so we fail to experience the shame free life Jesus came to provide.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you…. that means a lot.

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  • Anonymous

    Both John and I were raised in shame-based parenting models so we are having to learn that fair fighting means to criticize the behavior, not the person. It is a difficult pattern to change – shame – because it goes to who you are.

    “There is a shame epidemic in Christianity today.”

    Um, AMEN! so agree

  • bruce

    thanks, i couldn’t agree more.