It Only Grows in Secret

One of the most important and uncomfortable things I’ve done over the past five years is engage in conversations with my boys about sex, lust, porn and temptation. It has been awkward and it has been difficult. It has been worth it.

The other day, my son Elijah and I were talking about sexual temptation and the ability we have to act like we don’t struggle with it. Elijah shared some conversations he had with some friends at school and some temptations he has been facing as a 13 year old, seventh grader. He then said, “I just feel really guilty that I am even tempted in that way.”

As Christians, I think we all buy this lie. I think The Church has sold this lie for generations. We should feel guilty for being tempted. We are made to feel dirty for being tempted. We are made to feel shameful for being tempted. We are made to feel far from God because we are tempted.

Here is the truth…Jesus was tempted. The perfect Son of God faced temptation. No matter how spiritual you are, no matter how close to God you are, no matter how put together you are…you will be tempted.

What I shared with my son, Elijah, I want to share with you today: Sin doesn’t come because we are tempted. Sin comes as act like we aren’t tempted. Temptation only grows in secret.

The power of temptation is not in it’s ability to cause us to sin; its in its ability to keep us quiet.

The freedom from temptation we long for comes as we share those temptations with one another and bring them into the light. Maybe we actually sin more because we act like we don’t experience temptation. Our silence gives sin a place to grow into fruition. Could it be possible that we would sin less in our life if we exposed temptation when we experienced it?

What is interesting is that God promises an escape from the temptation; very few of us actually choose to take it.

You have the power through Christ to overcome temptation.

I am praying you will have the courage to choose it.

Temptation only grows in secret.

 

  • http://www.eileenknowles.com/ Eileen

    “The power of temptation is not in it’s ability to cause us to sin; its in its ability to keep us quiet.”  YES, so true.  Admitting and confessing diminishes it’s power over us.   I think it also reveals the condition of our hearts.  Are we willing to run to God even when it’s the hardest choice to make. 

  • http://www.loveandrespectnow.com/ Joy Eggerichs

    Thanks for talking openly with your son…

  • Diane1230

    So, so true.  I want to have these conversations with my sons, but I’m not sure how to go about it.  They’re only 4 and 13 months now, but I know the temptation will be great.  I have kiddingly told my husband he’ll have the talk, but I know I should also be involved.  Anyway, great topic!

    • Sherry

      Diane, if I was you I’d start talking to them now, simply, before they even know what you’re saying. I remember a commercial where the mom was talking to her son about not smoking and as the camera pulled away you saw him still in his high chair. It was comical but it showed her priority too. If you always talk to them then you never have that chasm to cross. I wish I’d done it that way with my two boys. This is a little off topic but it includes some things that might be helpful as well. http://theresurgence.com/2012/03/12/8-ways-to-protect-your-children-from-sexual-abuse

  • http://twitter.com/Real_Recovery REAL+ SOLUTIONS

    Thanks soo much for this Justin!!!  My oldest son is 5 and while some may think it’s too early to talk with him about lust and temptation all I can think is, “I wish some one would of talked to me about it at that age.”

  • Revscott_fletcher

    AWESOME…I recently counseled with a young person that was so confused concerning temptation & how to deal with it…that it lead him into an alternate life style…VERY NEEDFUL MATERIAL!!!

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    I’m dreading the day I have to have this type of conversation. Sounds like you handled it well.  Good job!

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