5 Things Your Husband Needs to Hear From You

After Justin’s post yesterday, I wanted to  follow with this post today. We don’t always get this right, but these are 5 things that make a HUGE difference in our marriage. As I speak them into my husband, our love for one another grows. I hope they are helpful to you.

1. I’m in love with you

“I love you”. It’s a term of endearment that we seem to toss out to about every person we know. What I have found is that Justin needs to hear not only I love him but that I’m IN love with him.

2. I am for you and respect you.

Before Justin and I separated we were constantly putting each other down in public. Our need to prove the other wrong caused us to disrespect each other through our words and actions.

What we have now is a mutual respect. A respect that what each of us contributes to our relationship and family is equally important.  When I tell Justin I am for him and respect him he feels honored, empowered and encouraged.

3. I’m attracted to you.

As ladies we are constantly bombarded with how we should look. We find ourselves over analyzing what we look like or don’t look like. We convince ourselves that if we look a certain way then our husbands will stay attracted to us.

What I have found in my own marriage is my words go a long way. The power of our words are much more potent then we think. Our husbands crave to know we are attracted to them. In complimenting your husband you empower him to have the confidence to compliment you.

4. I appreciate you.

Regardless if you are a stay-at-home mom or a CEO of a Fortune 500 company your husband wants to know you appreciate him. In most of our husbands there is an innate desire to provide. It can weigh them down and skew their view that what they do really matters. Saying I appreciate you communicates the work you do DOES MATTER.

5. I want to make love to you.

“Blush” If we’re all honest this one should be number one. Physical intimacy is a gift from God. It is unique in its power to bring about connectedness for you and your husband. God has placed a desire in your husband’s heart to crave intimacy constantly.

We live in a society where sex has been diluted to an act that is sinful and selfish in nature. Many of us as wives have struggled to see sex in the purity God had intended. Sex is a beautiful act of deep connectedness that only YOU his wife can fill.

You have something unique to offer your husband. For most of us we battle giving 100% to everyone and everything else other than physical intimacy. I guarantee you that if you struggle with this in your marriage and speak these words to your husband… your marriage will change. I have found that as our physical intimacy is made a priority our emotional intimacy follows.

Are there any that you feel I’ve left out? (Guys, help us help YOU!)

18 Responses to 5 Things Your Husband Needs to Hear From You

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  3. This will keep a marriage strong. I’m so glad you shared these thoughts. May all the women reading this post take heed and start TODAY loving their husbands. A lot of scandal in the ministry could be avoided if this was the norm.

  4. I’m just learning all this, since I am getting married in 2 months. But one thing I found that is great, is weekly I try to be really specific on what I appreciate. Like “I’m really thankful for you putting gas in my car when you borrowed it this week!” it shows that i was listening and paying attention. Also, asking how to pray for him is awesome for me to be better at praying! Sometimes, he will ask me if something looks good on him, or if i like something when we are shopping. I have learned it means the most if i give him honest answers even if i dont like it, instead of just saying it is good. He said that helps him know I mean what i say!

  5. My husband also likes to hear, “Please keep me company in the kitchen, but I’ll do the dishes.” However, if I also affirm him with your list, he inevitablely jumps into help so we can finish the chores and get to the fun sooner.

  6. Abbierivers

    amy- you are amazing just the way you are.. God designed you for each age you turn… he is the potter and you are his clay, if our amazing creator see’s you as perfectly formed in HIS image.. than you are beautiful… look at your self through OUR heavenly FATHERS eyes…. and you will see that beauty to..

  7. Amy

    I have a very hard time with #5. I do find my husband very attractve and am in love with him very much. I am so ashamed by the way I look and this keeps me from wanting to be intimate with him. I know this is not fair to him at all. How do I get past my self esteem issues and connect with my husband intimately?
    And for the record- he is always telling me how beautiful I am to him and that he loves me just the way I am… and I know he means it… i just have a hard time seeing myself that way

    • Amy I completely understand. I had our first baby at the age of 21 and my body never looked the same. I think what Abbie had to say is so true. I would also add that Justin’s attraction to me is not only found in my looks but my heart as well. When I respect him, honor him and tell him I’m in love with him it helps him to see the attractiveness of my heart. But I would agree with you… at times its hard to see the best of yourself.

    • Stacy

      Amy, I had three kids in five year and breast feed for 3 of those years. My body will never be the same no matter what I try. I lost weight and unclothed it really (to me) just made me look worse……my husband thinks I am so hot. I don’t get it but I do see that when I am hard on myself for my looks I feel less sexy. My husband has told me the sexiest thing I can do is feel confident. So when we are “together” and I start thinking about my stretch marks and loose skin I try and replace those thoughts with words he says to me. It can work. Praying to feel sexy is really helpful.

  8. I think #2 is SO underrated. Our guys need to know without a doubt that no matter what, we respect and honor them. When they know that, they can conquer the world — and love us.

  9. Interiorgal

    Perfect Trisha. Men just as much need as we are to be told they are attractive. It is hard as we age. They need to know we love them and want them and our attractive to them regardless of how we look and age. Attraction is a package outer and inner. I text my hubby randomly during the week : )x 4!!!! It is our code for ; I love you, I need you, I miss you and I want you. Makes us both smile. He really smiles when I say I crave you! And I really do. That’s what makes it special.
    They also need to know they are needed for more than just what they provide. Their job is not the end all be all. Men put their identity in their job.Who they are as a person is what you need to express you need not just what they do . Their is a huge difference.

    • Dusty… its interesting you say “corny” because I do think as women it feels silly or even awkward to express this our husbands.

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