The 80/20 Rule
Last night my phone received several text messages. Two friends were texting me about the same issue just different circumstances. The first, I have walked with for more than a year. He has shared with me parts of his heart that he hasn’t shared with anyone else, other than his wife. He desire is freedom. His heart longs for healing…from his past…from his sin…from his addiction. He has been honest, just not completely honest. Until last night.
The second friend was going to talk with a guy that just confessed to an affair. He texted me to ask for my prayers and to let me know that this person may be reaching out to me. His last text to me was “I’m not sure he is being completely honest.”
The thing about complete honesty is that no one can gauge it but the person that is sharing. You and I could meet every day for accountability and support, but if you leave out part of the truth, only you know that. Complete honesty is something only one person controls…and that person often times values safety over transparency. When we value safety over transparency, truth is almost always the sacrificial lamb.
As my friend texted me last night, he said, “I want you to know I’ve been honest. But I’ve only shared about 80% of the truth.” I text him back and said, “I don’t know a lot, but I know that you will never experience 100% healing by sharing 80% of the truth.”
Maybe today you realize that you have been skimming the top of honesty for a long time. You share only part of your heart; a fraction of the truth; some of the details. You expect God to heal you from addiction or show up for you in your marriage or provide you with freedom from your past. You want 100% of God, but only offer him 80% of you. You want 100% from your marriage but only offer 80% of you. You want 100% from your accountability partner, but only offer 80% of you.
So many people stay tied to the last 20% of their struggles because they only offer 80% of the truth. I don’t know a lot, but I know we can never experience 100% freedom; 100% healing; 100% of the life Jesus promises by offering 80% of the truth. 80% of truth will always leave us 20% short of true healing.
It takes courage. It takes risk. It provides 100% of what you are longing for.