Removing Roadblocks To Healing After Betrayal

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Today we are honored to have a guest blog post from Melody Lovvorn. Melody uncovered her husband’s betrayal in 2000, and has lived through the nightmare of having her family torn apart when her children were 6, 4, 2, and 6 months. After walking her own path of healing and wholeness, Melody and her ex-husband Tray were remarried in 2008.  Along with Tray, Melody has been devoted to personally coaching and…

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As Seen on CNN with Brooke Baldwin

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Last week Trisha was asked to write a guest post for Ed Stetzer and Christianity Today, and speak into the Ashley Madison hack/scandal. Many of you read this article and shared it with others. A producer at CNN read the article and contacted Trish on Monday morning asking if she would be a guest on CNN Newsroom with Brooke Baldwin. So many of you shared this on Facebook, Twitter and…

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We Hope You Never Need Us

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A few weeks ago our family finally had a quiet evening at home.  We were getting ready to eat when my cell phone rang. It was a familiar name on my caller ID. A pastor of a great and growing church was calling me. I answered the phone and after saying hello there was a brief moment of silence on the other end. “Hello,” I said, again. Sobs. “Justin, I need…

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Check Your Texts

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No one thinks they will have an affair. We don’t get married with a date circled on the calendar when we will break our marriage vows. You know how most inappropriate relationships start? They start in a non-inappropriate way. Texting. Facebook. Social Media. Here is the problem…people are always more bold and more courageous over text, Twitter and Facebook than they ever would be in person and lines get blurry…

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Affair Proof Your Marriage

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One of the ways God has allowed us to use our story is in helping people avoid some of the choices and some of the behavior patterns we’ve had in our marriage. I’m asked several times a week, “What can I do to make sure I or my spouse doesn’t have an affair.” So today we wanted to share five things that will protect your heart, mind and marriage. 1.     Pursue…

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Never an Excuse, But Always A Reason

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Our vision for RefineUs is to be a place that focuses on our hearts and not our relationship status. Married, single, dating, single again, remarried, or anywhere in between, this is a place for you. There are times we paint in broad strokes to speak to as many people as possible. Then there are times God lays something specifically on our heart that we want to share with a specific…

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Our Pre-Disposition to Lie

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I (Justin) haven’t been able to turn on the TV the last few days without seeing blanket coverage of the General Petreaus affair story. It has been all over the news and the internet. Yesterday, during lunch I sat in a restaurant and programming was interrupted so the President could have a press conference to talk about his knowledge of the situation. It is big news. What is interesting is…

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One Year After The Affair

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Seven years ago today, everything changed. With four words, I cost my wife, family and so many around me what seemed like everything. “I’m having an affair.” With those words, my sin was exposed and life as we knew it came to an end. Over the next two days, God would crush my pride, give me a heart of repentance and lead me to an amazing Christian counselor. It would…

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Friday Repost: 5 Things You Must Do If Your Spouse Has An Affair

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{ We are reposting this post today as a resource for you to pass on to those you know who are in this situation. This week alone, several people have reached out to us because they found out their spouse was unfaithful. Our heart breaks with every story.  We’d be honored if you would share this message with as many people as possible. } The pressure of writing this post…

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Check Your Texts

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Over the past few days, we’ve been in several conversations with people rocked by affairs. We’ve talked to devastated spouses trying to find hope and healing because of what their spouse chose. We’ve talked to repentant and remorseful spouses that broke trust and destroyed their marriage. Some conversations have been in person, some over the phone, some over email. Each couple; each relationship; each mistake; each affair were all different. But one…

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