Check Your Texts

7 Comments

No one thinks they will have an affair. We don’t get married with a date circled on the calendar when we will break our marriage vows. You know how most inappropriate relationships start? They start in a non-inappropriate way. Texting. Facebook. Social Media. Here is the problem…people are always more bold and more courageous over text, Twitter and Facebook than they ever would be in person and lines get blurry…

read more

Overcoming Burnout

16 Comments

I’ve struggled with burnout several times and in several seasons of life and ministry. Some seasons of burnout were fixed by a vacation or a weekend away. Other seasons of burnout were accompanied by a deep depression and an inability on my part to “fix” it. A few months ago, I found myself in the latter place. Tired. Depressed. Unmotivated. Exhausted. Grouchy. Spiritually dry. I could feel it. Our book…

read more

Blog Post Fail

9 Comments

Trisha and I view our role at RefineUs as an honor. We feel honored to be able to share a part of your day; to be a part of your relationships and a part of your spiritual journey. We routinely talk through blog post ideas and discuss themes and direction for content each week. I had a blog post outlined and thought through for today and everything seemed fine. We…

read more

More Spiritual Than You

5 Comments

It is so easy for me to have a judgmental heart. It’s so easy for me to think that I am better than someone else. When you and I judge others we assume the worst of them. Judging is when you speak about someone’s sin and you feel no compassion. You have no obligation to help, and you secretly enjoy their failure. Judgment says, “I would never do anything as…

read more

Being Comfortable With Editing

4 Comments

Trisha and I are in the editing process of our book, Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough. We are so excited about it, and should have all the edits done by the end of this month. The cover is being finalized, and the final manuscript will be completed in August. It is set to be released in January, 2013. Just typing that is like an out…

read more

3 Ways to Wreck Your Life

5 Comments

One of the things that I love about blogging is the ability to answer questions publicly that we often get privately. As we talk to people there is often a certain theme or a certain question that repeatedly comes up that gives us a peek into what a lot of people might be struggling with. A question that we often get when people hear our story is: “How do I…

read more

You Can’t Talk Them Into It

7 Comments

One of the most common questions we get when we are speaking with or coaching couples is: “What was the most important thing you did to restore your marriage?” Most of the time, people don’t agree with Trisha’s answer. Almost all the time they don’t like her answer. She will tell you the most pivotal and most difficult decision she made that lead to our restoration was packing up my…

read more

The Cost of Control

2 Comments

We are so excited to be a part of “Velocity 2012″ put on by churchplanters.com. We have been blessed by Shawn and Tricia Lovejoy and their ministry to pastors. We can’t wait to be a a part.  Would love to see you there this February. For more information you can go HERE.  You can get 20% off of your registration by using the code: #velocity12JTDavis. Below is a post we…

read more

3 Fears That Will Hold You Back

4 Comments

We have great intentions don’t we? If our life was measured by our intentions we would all be very successful in all aspects of life. We intend to have great marriages. We intend to have deep friendships. We intend to be completely honest. We intend to share all of our heart. We intend to be fully known. What prevents our intentions from being reality? Fear. There are three fears that…

read more

The Deepest of All Lies

5 Comments

Divorce doesn’t happen all at once. Addictions don’t take hold overnight. Relationships don’t usually just implode. There is a slide into divorce. There is a gradual accent into addiction.  There is a subtle breakdown in relationships. Most of the time, our character doesn’t deteriorate instantly. It starts with a willingness to rationalize. We are capable of convincing ourselves that the choice we are making isn’t that big of a deal….

read more