4 Questions to Ask When You’re In An Argument

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Conflict is a part of every relationship. What I’ve (Justin) recognized about myself is that most of my relational regrets have conflict attached to them. I have been in arguments with Trish and have said things that I didn’t mean. I have talked to my kids in a tone of voice that crushes their spirit. I have been right in principle and sinful in delivery. There have been arguments that…

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4 Reasons Marriages Struggle

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We have the opportunity to travel and speak a lot about marriage. Most of our content doesn’t come from information we’ve read in books or gained in a classroom. The majority of it has been learned through failure and experience. The thing we’ve noticed as we’ve spoke to thousands of couples, is that none of us are alone. There have been times, sometimes seasons of our marriage that it has…

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You Can’t Argue Your Way To a Better Relationship

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Most of us only communicate what we expect from a relationship after we’ve been disappointed or let down. Many of us are unhappy in a marriage, discontent  in a dating relationship or dissatisfied with a friend, because the relationship isn’t what we thought it would be and isn’t what we expected it should be. For years, Trish and I struggled with unmet expectations in our marriage. We’d talk about unmet…

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Happy Wife, Happy Life?

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Life is an adventure. You never know what can happen in a particular day. Yesterday, I was in a meeting and got an email from The Huffington Post. The email was from the contact form on our web site and said in part,  “A new study has been released indicating that marital happiness is directly tied to a wife’s ability to calm down quickly during conflict. We’d like to invite…

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Why I Succeeded at Work But Not At Home

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For the first ten years of our marriage, I had a reoccurring feeling. Sometimes the feeling was prompted by an argument between Trish and myself. Sometimes it was simply a comment that she made. Sometimes, if I’m honest, this feeling come from deep inside my heart, because I knew there was truth in it. The feeling: I was a success at work- but not at home.  At work, I had…

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Breaking the Cycle

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When we started dating our spouse, the time we set aside to invest in that relationship was huge. We carved out time to talk; we spent hours on the phone; we spent money we didn’t have to buy flowers; we drove long distances just to see them for a few hours; we went out to dinner three times a week. We called in sick to work just to spend the…

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An Expectation That Will Never Be Met

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Most people only communicate what they expect from a relationship after they have been disappointed or let down. So many of us are unhappy in our marriage, unhappy in a relationship, dissatisfied with a friend because the relationship isn’t what we thought it would be. More accurately it isn’t what we expected it would be. We have the opportunity to talk to couples all of the time about unmet expectations….

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Mistakes that Hold You Back Part 3

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We started this blog series Monday, talking about the mistakes that we allow to creep into our marriage. These are the mistakes that probably won’t cause divorce, but they will keep us from experiencing the marriage we long for and the marriage God has in mind for us. First, we talked about scorekeeping. Yesterday, we talked about sweating the small stuff. Today is part three. The number one goal I…

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Mistakes that Hold You Back Part 2

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We started this blog series yesterday, talking about the mistakes that we allow to creep into our marriage. These are the mistakes that probably won’t cause divorce, but they will keep us from experiencing the marriage we long for and the marriage God has in mind for us. Yesterday, we talked about scorekeeping. We continue today with part two.  On Wednesday, October 12, 2005 I woke up and didn’t know…

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Mistakes that Hold You Back Part 1

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We are going to launch a blog series this week called Mistakes that Hold You Back. Most of us that are married long to have a great marriage. Often times it isn’t the big, catastrophic things that hurt our marriage, it is the small mistakes we make without even noticing that keep us from having the marriage God has in mind. This week we are going to talk about four…

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