Why Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work


When Trish and I started our first church in 2002, we had a lot of faith, very little money and even less people. I put together a business plan of what I thought was our budget and timeline and started meeting with as many people as I could, asking them to support this new church. One morning I sat down with a very successful business man, seeking his advice but…

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2 Mistakes Couples Make with Marriage Counseling


As I’ve transitioned over the past few months to a part time position at Cross Point and full time at RefineUs, we are spending a lot of time around married couples and marriage problems. Trish and I counsel a lot of couples and I refer a lot of couples to counseling. What we’ve noticed are two common and devastating mistakes we see couples making when it comes to marriage counseling….

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When You Can’t Put the Pieces Back Together


Each week we receive emails from men and women that read our blog faithfully. They too had a vision for their marriage. They dreamed of happily ever after. Some have kids. Some have a house with a white picket fence. All of them had the desire for a life that is drastically different than what they are living. Their questions are similar: “What do I do when my husband doesn’t…

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Over the past couple of years, Starbucks has become a place where I often meet with women to talk about the hard things in life.  I remember one morning sitting with a friend, both of us cupping our coffee as if it was a microphone and she began to share her story with me. Her tears fell fast and her emotions poured out through her words even faster. She went…

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You Can’t Afford Not To


Most of the time it is assumed that the biggest regret I have in our marriage is my choice to have an affair. The hurt was visible. The devastation was widespread. It must be my biggest regret. There is no doubt that I regret that choice every single day. But the single worst mistake that I’ve made in our marriage is refusing to go to counseling. It is my biggest…

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Five Things You Must Do When Your Spouse Has Had An Affair (Repost)


{ We are reposting this series of posts today and tomorrow as a resource for you to pass on to those you know who are in this situation. We’d be honored if you would retweet and post this on Facebook to share this message with as many hurting people as possible. } The pressure of writing this post is a bit overwhelming and my heart is heavy. Sigh… not because…

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