What Will Always Be There

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Yesterday was a long day. Long. Counseling. Meeting. More counseling. Email. Meeting. Dinner meeting. Trish and I got to the church around 7PM and I picked up Isaiah while Trish stayed at church for the rest of our student event. As we were driving out of the parking lot, she sent me a text: “Hey babe…Make sure you pour into Isaiah for the next 30 minutes, he hasn’t seen you…

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Not On The Same Page: Parenting

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When our oldest son was born sixteen years ago, we wanted to make sure we got everything right. We researched the best way to hold him; the best position for him to sleep in; the best baby food to feed him; the best educational toys to buy him; the best methods to parent him. We never said this aloud, but every first time parent thinks it: “If I can be…

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Letting Go

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Last Friday was our oldest son Micah’s 16th birthday. Trish took him to get his license, and then I drove his car to Chili’s to meet them for lunch. After lunch, he and the boys jumped in his car and he drove them back to our house. Trish and I followed in the van, crying along the way. I snapped this picture right before they drove off. When we got…

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5 Things a Dad Needs to Be

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I had an amazing Father’s Day yesterday. I am so blessed with three boys that love God and love me with a love that I’ve done nothing to deserve but I cherish with all of my heart. They love me well. If I’m honest, each of the past few years, Father’s Day has been a tough day for me. Three years ago, my parents got divorced after 36 of marriage….

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Watch Me

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“Watch me. Watch me, dad!” Last week, Trisha and I took the boys on a four day vacation to Florida. Three boys in three different stages of life. Each with a desire to be seen. Watch me ride these waves. Watch me walk on my hands under water. Watch me catch this jelly fish. Watch me do a flip over the wave. Watch how long I can hold my breath….

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Irrational

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This weekend was insane. I had to be in Atlanta on Friday at 8:00 am for a meeting. Trish spent the day working on a chapter of our book. We met at 8:30 PM Friday night at Micah’s school, after I drove for 4 hours back from Atlanta. I moved my suitcase from my car to our van and we left for Indianapolis. We decided to drive 5 hours to…

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Goals 2012

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stew·ard·ship [stoo-erd-ship] “The responsible overseeing and protection of something considered worth caring for and preserving.” 2012 how did you get here so fast and where did the past twelve years go? In the year 2000, Justin and I celebrated five years of marriage. Within those first five years we moved six times, had two baby boys and worked at three different churches. I feel tense just writing that. Needless to…

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The Best Christmas Ever

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Every Christmas since I was 8 years old, I have ended the gift giving and unwrapping with the phrase, “This was the best Christmas, EVER!” I truly believe that that specific Christmas was better than any before it. While that may or may not be true, Christmas of 2007, I gave the best Christmas gift, ever! I had been out of ministry for two years and I had a really…

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Succeeding as a Pastor, Failing as a Parent: Part 5

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Today’s post is the last of the five part series here at RefineUs talking about parenting. One of the things I’ve learned over the past six years is finding my identity in anything other than Christ, causes me to compromise relationships to maintain that identity. The truth about both Trisha and myself is that for years we found our identity in ministry. 5. I was more in love with being…

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Succeeding as a Pastor, Failing as a Parent: Part 3

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I remember the first time we sat the boys down in December 2005,  to talk to them about the timing of me moving back home. We had just come back from a counseling appointment and felt like the time was right to begin this conversation. Our boys were ages 9, 6 and 3 at the time so our youngest wasn’t a part of this conversation. It was the two older…

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