I’ve (Trisha) been trying to write this post for the past week. When I try to write, my thoughts are so deep and heavy I’m afraid to put words to them. I’m searching for words to make my thoughts feel lighter and safe but I can’t. Instead I’m going for honest and raw and praying somehow Jesus will land them softly into your heart. I pray you will read the entire post knowing my words will get lighter.

I had no desire to go back into ministry after leaving our church plant in 2005. Like never. Ever! My husband Justin was making great money as an executive recruiter. I was a happy stay-at-home mom getting to finish my college degree. It had been four years of rest and restoration for our marriage and our family. I didn’t need to go back into ministry to feel my restoration was complete. I was content, happy and safe.

I’m writing today for ChurchPlanters.com. Read the rest of the this post by clicking HERE:  

We are so excited to be a part of “Velocity 2012″ put on by churchplanters.com. We have been blessed by Shawn and Tricia Lovejoy and their ministry to pastors. We can’t wait to be a a part.  Would love to see you there this February. For more information you can go HERE.  You can get 20% off of your registration by using the code: #velocity12JTDavis. Below is a post we did for their blog yesterday that I thought was pertinent for all of us as we begin the new year.

One of the most consistent enemies I have to my relationship with God is this thing called “control.” Control is my ability to believe that I can lead and guide my life, my marriage, my relationships better than God. Control always makes promises it can never keep. God doesn’t ask me to give up control because of what control will do to Him. God asks me to give up control because of what control does to me. Control will cost you. Here are three costs of control I have seen in my own life.

1. Control will deceive you.

Control will cause us to believe our earthly desires carry a heavenly purpose. God wants me to be happy. God wants me to be successful. God wants me to be comfortable. God wants me to have a bigger house. God wants me to get remarried. God wants me to have a good job. God wants me to be fulfilled. God wants me to be satisfied. It’s not that these things aren’t true; it’s that they aren’t as true as God’s ultimate desire for you. God wants you be holy more than he wants you to be happy. What happens is we begin to justify our decisions based on what we want, not on what God says or desires for us.

It’s why we end up thousands of dollars in debt. Control deceives us. It’s why someone reading this today is considering leaving their spouse for a guy at work. Control is deceiving you. It’s why there is a guy reading this today that has thought about leaving is wife and kids for the old girlfriend he’s talking to on Facebook…control is deceiving you. It’s why people spend 90 hours at work and very little time investing in their family…control deceives them. It’s why the bigger house didn’t make you a better husband. It’s why the nicer car doesn’t make you feel more successful. Control deceives us.

2. Control will exhaust you.

The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous lay out a way of life that is the greatest single vehicle to freedom for addicts of alcohol that this world has ever known.

This is what is interesting to me…in which of the 12 steps does it say, “Now try really hard not to drink.” None of them. The most powerful tool against the most powerful addiction in the world never asks people to decide to stop doing what they have to stop doing. They do not mobilize their will…they surrender their will.

Control will exhaust you. Control will convince you that you have to overcome your problem, your baggage, your wounds. You can behave your way to a better life; a better marriage; a better relationship. Jesus says surrender your life.

I heard Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church, say one time, “Most Christians think they become more like Christ by trying, but it actually happens by dying.” Maybe you are just tired today…you are exhausted from trying to control every aspect of your life; your marriage; your career.

3. Control will rob you.

Control will keep you up at night worried. Control will rob you of joy in your relationships. Control will cause you to lose hours, days, years of your life to stress and anxiety. Control will convince you that more money, more possessions, more relationships, more success will give you the life that God created you to have…and control will make you think you are gaining the whole world…while you lose your soul.

What do you need to let go of in 2012?

I’m ashamed about how many years I wasted being an insecure leader. I compared my leadership with others. I compared the size of my church with others. I compared my speaking ability with others. The problem with the comparison game is that you always lose…you will never be good enough.

Earlier this week, I read THIS BLOG post from my friend Shawn Lovejoy. I love this quote from the post:

We don’t need to become secure in our leadership; but in His! We must become secure in His ability to do everything HE wants to do in and through us! Sometimes we just need hear that. We need to be encouraged and reminded that God’s calling and His plan for our lives has not changed! It’s so important we get secure about who we are, who God as uniquely called us to be, and what God wants to do uniquely through us.

Shawn’s heart for pastors and church planters is one of the many reasons why Trisha and I are excited to be a part of the Velocity Conference.

It’s only $79 to register for the conference. If you are a pastor or church-planter, we hope to see you there. Find out mroe INFO HERE.

Six years ago this week, I was anything but a church leader. I was a church wounder. I was just a few days removed from telling my wife of 10 years that I no longer wanted to be married to her. I admitted to an affair that devastated every person that I loved and that loved me. I was living four miles from my house with a family friend, praying that God could put the pieces of my wife’s heart back together…the pieces I created when I shattered it.

I had worked so hard to be a church leader. I was so insecure that growing a large church for me was the one way I could guarantee respect. When you are driven by insecurity and fear, it doesn’t matter how successful or big your ministry is, it is never enough.

Six years ago ministry went away. Church leadership went away.

Over the past two years, God has blown us away with His provision and grace in restoring us back to ministry. The honor that I have to serve at Cross Point is something that I will never take for granted. The way that God has used RefineUs to reach into the heart of men and women and marriages is something that we thank God for everyday.

A few days ago, I received an email from ChurchLeaders.com asking permission to reprint an interview that we did for Outreach Magazine. The timing and the details washed over me. It is only by God’s unmerited redemption that He could use our story to help church leaders. It is only by His grace that church leaders could read of our struggles, know of my failures and realize that they are not alone. Church leaders hurt. Church leaders fail. Church leaders have problems in their marriage. Church leaders feel the pressure to not hurt, fail or have problems in their marriage. Our prayer is our story brings hope to church leaders.

As I reread the article they posted, I was reminded that God doesn’t have to redeem…He chooses to. My prayer is the article doesn’t just help church leaders lead better it inspires them to live better.

If you’d like to read the article or know of a church leader that needs a dose of hope today…here is the link:

My First Affair Was With The Church

It was a year ago Justin and I had the privilege of meeting Shawn and Tricia Lovejoy. They are the kind of people who make you feel loved and valued before they even know your name. So with a deep breath and extended hand we introduced ourselves. Not just an introduction of names but of our story of a cheating pastor, his broken wife, and a mess of a marriage that somehow God redeemed.

The risk of sharing our story with them meant we would have to be vulnerable to their response. Vulnerable to  their opinions regarding Justin becoming a pastor again. Vulnerable to their approval of who we are today and the vision and passion God has placed in us to help others.

I’m guest posting over at SharpenHer today. YOU CAN READ THE REST OF THE POST HERE:

One of the things that I love about my friend Casey Graham is that he is passionate about helping others. He is a generous person with a huge heart for pastors, the Church and advancing the Kingdom of God. When I was a church-planter church finances consumed my mind. Even in my role as campus pastor, the financial health of our campus is very important to me. Casey knows this pressure and seeks to serve pastors and their churches in a huge way. If you are a church leader this is an event that you can’t miss.

On October 20, church leaders from around the country can appear on your computer screen to teach you and your team how to fully fund your church. The free online event is called Fund Your Church Now.  Take a look at what some of the speakers will share:

• Dino Rizzo from Healing Place Church will talk about how helping people in the community creates a generous church.
• Robert Morris is going to explain the Biblical command to give a tithe and offerings.
• Joe Sangl is going to show you how you can help broke people in your church with their personal finances.
• Shaun King is going to show you how to mobilize a bunch of people to connect with a need.
• Pete Wilson is going to talk about the power of personal relationships.
• Bob Franquiz will show you how to do a tithe challenge.
• Tim Stevens is going to talk about how the Granger team tracks and measures generosity.

There are more speakers and more topics.  Fund Your Church Now is a FREE online event.  Register here.

It is free.

It is convenient.

It has an All-star group of speakers sharing great content.

Part of our vision for RefineUs was to use our story to show God’s grace. There is so much power in story. God, Himself, used the power of story to share His word with us. So it is an honor to be a part of the STORY conference blog tour today. A conference that seeks to unleash the imagination of those who share God’s story.

STORY is a conference for the creative class. The theme for 2011 is IMAGINE NATION which speaks to the power of spiritual imagination. In Exodus 35, the artist of Israel came together to build a dwelling place for God. They carved poles, fashioned gold, and constructed curtains “with cherubim woven into them by expert hands.” The job of these artists was to envision the kingdom and use their gifts to heighten peoples spiritual imaginations. An Imagine Nation.

Join a tribe of creative artists attempting to learn more about their craft, story telling, and imagination. One of the story tellers at STORY this year is Mark Pierson. Mark recently released the book The Art of Curating Worship, which has caused quite a stir in worship leading circles. We had a chance to catch up with Mark and ask him a few questions about STORY:

1. What is your best personal definition of a STORY?
Starting, and stopping, with various lengths of continuing in between.

2. What is one way you have found to grow or engage your imagination?
Visit, experience, read about, installation art. In other words, keep surfing the edges of contemporary culture.

3. In your experience what is the best nontraditional form or STORY telling you have seen, heard, or experienced?
Ron Arad’s “Curtain Call” at the Roundhouse, London. http://www.roundhouse.org.uk/series/ron-arads-curtain-call

4. If you could encourage a creative person with one tip on being imaginative what would you tell them?
After talking about the difference between creativity and imagination, I would suggest he/she expose her/himself to more art installations and new media exhibitions.

5. What is one thing you are excited about sharing with the tribes attending STORY 2011?
We all need to start taking how we approach the task of designing (curating) worship much, much more seriously than we have done so in the past.

If you’re a writer, filmmaker, artist, performer, entrepreneur, church leader, communicator, or other type of creative, you won’t want to miss STORY 2011. To register visit STORY Registration or if you need a little more information visit the STORY site.

Bill Hybels has been my hero in ministry for almost 20 years. That Hero status only went up today.

Last month, Trisha and I were asked by Outreach Magazine to share our thoughts on church planting, marriage, ministry and the pressure that comes with each of those realities. The printed article comes out in the September/October issue of Outreach. Below is an excerpt of the article and a link to read the full, uncut interview.

Our passion to share our failures, our brokenness and God’s restoration is at its highest when we are talking to pastors and church planters. Our prayer is that every marriage, but especially the marriage of those in ministry would find encouragement with what we share.

Justin, when you look back over your ministry before the affair, did the expectation of growing a large church contribute to the fall?

Justin: When Trisha and I married, we had this vision to change the world for Christ. It was never our intention to move 15 times in an effort to fulfill that vision, but we felt called, and every time it was in pursuit of my dreams of becoming an important youth pastor. I had this ambition to have a big ministry, along with the understanding that the size of your ministry and how much influence you have in the greater church is related to the success you can have in your local ministry. Those things really pre-empted my development as a person, as a Christian.

When we moved from Kokomo, Ind., to Nashville, Tenn., 10 years ago, I was excited to go to the next place because it was bigger, better and would give me a larger platform, but Trisha was devastated because she’d just invested her whole heart there. Then shortly after we arrived in Nashville, we left in 2002 to plant the church in Indianapolis.

Trisha: And that was the hardest place to be because the ministry we’d been at prior was the longest we’d been anywhere (three-and-a-half years). I was really well connected with our students and my small group of girls. I was very involved with the worship team, and it was the first time that, from the senior pastor on down, I felt they saw my gifts.

Justin: That’s the difference: Trisha is an investor in people. I was a user of people. I leveraged people; I didn’t invest in them. We’d move from these ministries, and she’d have very deep heartfelt relationship with so many people, but people to me were a commodity, a means to an end to get to a place. I didn’t feel that way in the moment, but looking back on how I treated them and the dysfunction in my own heart gave me the perspective to know that. I was just using them to help me accomplish what I wanted to in ministry.

Trisha: The moves were a loss of investment. Before social media, before Facebook, we moved, and we lost connections.

Justin: That whole issue [pursuing my dreams of importance, Trisha connecting and then being uprooted] was grinding against each other for 10 years.

Click HERE to read the full article

I have been a part of a lot of message series over the past 16 years of ministry. I have gone to great lengths to promote a message series. I have gone sky diving to promote a series. I have shot guns. I have jumped out of a fishing boat and tried to catch fish by hand. I have never done anything like this:

Summer Slam Promo from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

We had such a great time with the video and photo shoot and wanted to go all out to promote the series. We are praying that each week of the series will be powerful. Each week for the next 6 weeks we will be looking at passages of scripture that collide with our lives and confront our desire to change. They will be scriptures that we hope will cause us to wrestle with our faith (get it, “wrestle” )

You can invite a friend to join us here: INVITE

If you don’t live in Nashville, join us for Cross Point Live each Sunday at 6:00 PM Central Time. There is a LIVE Q&A at the end of each message.