In August of 2000 I dropped off my sweet Micah for his first day of FULL-DAY kindergarten. All I had really known as an adult was being a stay-at-home mom with him home. No one had prepared me for the heartache I would feel that day. Justin and I stood frozen at Micah’s classroom door unable to move until the teacher lovingly gave us a nudge to leave. We walked to the parking lot and we both just lost it.

Years would pass and my precious Elijah and Isaiah would follow their brother’s path. My 12 yearlong journey of being a stay-at-home mom with kids at home would come to an end. I never struggled with identity before because it had been defined for me since I was twenty. I was a stay-at-home mom and LOVED every minute of it. So what now?

There was no moral failure or earth shattering news… life was just happening. My babies were now boys. I knew this day would come because every women that was sleeping through the night would tell me: “enjoy this stage it goes so fast” and in my sleep derived mind I just rolled my eyes or thought nasty thoughts about those ladies (TMI?) I digress The reality is they were right!

Justin and I keep coming back to the fact that we only have 4 years left with Micah! FOUR short years. It seems these days that every day, every meal, every holiday becomes more cherished knowing that this season will also come to and end. Sniff… sniff… So I guess that’s my simple encouragement for you today.

Today counts!

Maybe you’re a mom that’s lost YOUR identity? Choose today to remember you are still making a difference and God will give you next steps in His time.

Maybe today you’re the pastor turned waiter? God is not done with you. Believe in the call that God has in your life but rest and trust in where he has you today.

Maybe you’re the CEO now unemployed? Your identity in Christ is not defined by your title. God may use this time grow you areas that will make you an even better CEO in the future.

Maybe you’re the married now single parent. God’s plan for you is full of hope. It may not feel like it today but with Jesus all things are possible. Yes He has the ability to fill that awful ache that grips at your heart. You may have to choose it minute-by-minute as you grieve your loss but I promise you He will always be enough.

Regardless if you are 14 or 84 life is full of transitions. Lets face it when you find yourself in the middle of a transition good or bad it’s hard. This week we have shared our own stories of personal struggles. Our hope and prayer is that you have found encouragement not only through what we have shared but also through the responses left by others.

Next week will be continuing our series with blog post from dear friends. We hope that you will join us. Wherever you find yourself on life’s journey there is always hope for a new tomorrow.

Two nights ago, our son Micah asked us something he’d never asked before. He asked if he could write a post for our blog. We were honored. He knew that we were writing about transitions this week and felt like God laid something on his heart to say. When he showed it to us, we were blown away with not only how good it is, but also, how we struggle with the same thing he struggles with. Our circumstances our different, but our emotions are the same. If you could do this mom and dad a favor and give our son, Micah some Blog Love today, we’d appreciate it. And, God may just speak to your heart through him.

Hi, my name is Micah Davis. I am the oldest of Justin and Trisha’s three boys. During the past week my parents have been talking about life transitions and how those can affect peoples lives.

In a few months I will be enduring one the largest, scariest, and nerve wracking transitions in my life so far.

High School.

I am 14 years old, as you may know my mother had me one year and five days after they got married.  We have moved a total of fourteen times in our life together and each one has been just as hard for different reasons as the rest. Nothing in my life though, can compare to the uneasiness I have about High School. I have so many unanswered questions and so many unopened doors that I need to open that I feel God just isn’t showing me right now.

Down in Tennessee private school is a big deal. Nashville has the largest private High School per-capita ratio in the country. That means that most of my friends that I have made in the past two years will be splitting up with one another.  It’s something I don’t really think about though. It just seems like another way of life for all of us. You learn to get use to it.

God has done some miraculous things in my life and, looking back, I know he did them for a reason. Like I mentioned before, we have moved fourteen times in our family’s existence. What has that done? Prepared me to let go of the old and get ready for the new. What about the people who have told me I can’t do it? Or the people who said your not good enough? Those people just made me want to prove them wrong and it helped build my character. And what about the biggest transition to date? Getting held back in the seventh grade. That just built my maturity, and gave me one more year to work on my studies, basketball, and my relationship with God. Not to mention, my parents most important thing, one more year at home.

Just thinking about High School makes me sick to my stomach. I am nearly half a year away from it and I am already nervous about it. I have never been so excited yet so nervous in my life. It’s a journey I am so ready to start! Yet, middle school seems so much more comfortable to me.

But that’s something that transitions are about, stepping out of your comfort zone…and I am.

Is there a transition that God is calling you to make that is outside your comfort zone?

Over the past few months Trisha and I have been in a huge transition. We have come fact to face with the reality that we only have 4 years left with Micah. I can remember so many people telling me how fast time goes, but either I didn’t believe them or I just didn’t get it. We are acutely aware at how little time we have with Micah…with all of our boys.

I was running yesterday, and this song by Lincoln Brewster came onto my iPod. Here are just a few of the lyrics:

And all of my todays seem like they’re rushing by so fast
And every time I look around I pray that it will last

And it’s real life
And it’s real good
And sometimes I take it all for granted

even though I never should

Why is it so easy to take life for granted? I can tell when I am taking things for granted because I feel a sense of entitlement. Entitlement is the enemy of gratitude. Every day; every relationship; every conversation; every moment with my wife and boys; every opportunity to serve God; ALL A GIFT.

My goal is to take some time this weekend, and be grateful. To not take anything for granted.

You can listen to the song Real Life here for free.

You can buy the album HERE.

Do you find it easy to take life for granted?

Last week Trisha and I got a chance to take our three boys to Florida for Fall Break. We had such a great time. I cherished the time I got to spend with my wife and kids. It is amazing how some time away can help me remember:

I remember how much throwing the football means to my boys

I remember how captivating building a sandcastle can be

I remember how big of a deal catching a jellyfish is

I remember how life-giving walks on the beach are to our family

I remember that looking at my boys and not at my phone at dinner makes a difference

I remember how much I experience God through quiet and reflection

I remember that not watching TV in the evening could add much needed conversation

I remember how nice it is not to rush anywhere

I remember how freeing not checking email or voice mail can be

I remember that I only have 4 years before my oldest son leaves for college

I remember that I can’t go back in time

I remember how much I love holding my wife’s hand as we walk and talk

I remember that what my kids really want to know is that I love God; I love their mom and I love them…more than I love my job; more than I love ministry; more than I love our blog; more than I love my reputation; more than I love other people.

It is amazing that the things that are most obvious to us somehow get lost under everyday life. It is so easy to forget.

Below are some of my favorite pictures from the week.

But let me ask you…is there something so obvious that because of the noise of life you have forgotten? Maybe today is the day to remember.

Sunday, Justin our three boys and I were given an amazing opportunity to go to a Titan’s game because of the generosity of another family. Not only did we get to go to the game we sat Club Level. What was even more amazing is that our WHOLE family got to go!

The site before the game was rather hilarious. Just imagine our whole family in our church office throwing on Titans jerseys we borrowed from friends. Yes they had enough Titan’s gear to cloth our whole family. As we jumped in the car each of us giddy to get to the game we look at each other and complete laughter breaks out!

We are all die-hard Colts fans yet here we were decked out in Titan’s gear. As we approached downtown and could see the field the anticipation started to build. As we waited to park our van started to shake and a loud noise followed and as we looked-up four fighter jets flew overhead and we all cheered.

Our boys are 14, 11 & 7. Now that we have a teenager each day seems precious knowing that these days will come to an end before we know it. Walking into the stadium with my boys and their eyes full of excitement I couldn’t help but giggle as they loudly talked about sitting “Club level”! It was cute and embarrassing all at the same time.

If I could freeze time I would have frozen that moment.

The family who gave us these tickets provided an amazing opportunity for us to make memories together. It was an opportunity for our boys to see feel the joy of being the receiver of an amazing gift.

My prayer is that they will be inspired to give to others that would bring joy to someone else’s life.

They can’t give away amazing tickets to a football game…but they can give away their time, their friendship and their resources.

So today what can you give away to inspire and bring joy to someone else’s life?

Often on our RefineUs blog we write about the hard stuff in life, love and relationships. Today I (Trish) just feel compelled to share about a heart that’s full. Not the kind of full that says life is perfect without problems or flaws but the kind of full that makes your face hurt from too much smiling.

I have found myself in a constant state of reflection over the past couple of weeks. Whether its spending time with good friends or snuggling on the couch with my boys I seem to drift into reflection. I feel a sense of joy and gratitude that even though life has been hard and sometimes even cruel I still get to live THIS LIFE! God doesn’t just redeem he makes things new.

Yesterday we had a completely impromptu birthday/pool party for our 14-year-old son Micah with some of his friends from school. The scene was a bit surreal! My “little guy” is not so little anymore (he’s now taller than me) and so as I have in days past I started to reflect. Thoughts of only having five years left with him start to flood my mind. Thoughts that one of the girls splashing him in the pool could be his future wife! Say what?

As the afternoon continues on I look over at Justin then over to the pool and then back at him. I see my 7-year-old Isaiah completely enamored with the big kids yet content to play on his own. Again I look at Justin and then back to the scene unfolding in the pool. I think about my 11-year-old Elijah and know he must be having a blast at the lake house with one of his best buddies. And again I gaze back at Justin…

For a moment in time I felt an overwhelming sense of humility and gratitude for my life! To have Justin and my boys in my life is such a gift. Not only am I grateful to have Justin’s friendship but to see and be a part of the legacy he is leaving within the hearts of our boys…

HEART FULL!

To be blessed with so many friends in so many different places of the world…

HEART FULL!

To be blessed to be a part of a church family that loves God, the lost and the broken…

HEART FULL!

To have family (especially our moms) that loves us regardless…

HEART FULL!

To know and be known by a Savior who loves me and those I love so deeply that he gave his life for us…

HEART FULL!

Reflection has been a gift from that has allowed me to see what God has and continues to do in and through my life. My prayer and challenge for you today is to take a minute to reflect on what has made your “heart full” lately?

A little over a year ago, we sat our middle son Elijah down and told him that we felt like God was leading us back into full time vocational ministry. We didn’t know what that looked like, but we wanted to make the decision as a family. Elijah immediately began to cry. Neither Trisha nor I thought this was a good thing. We began to console him and ask him if he was okay. Through his sobbing he simply said “I’m so happy, this is what you were made for.” Then we began to cry! Such a sweet kid!

Since that day, Elijah has been asking me if he could speak on Sunday morning. As kindly as I can, I have explained to him that although Cross Point is an awesome church I don’t have the authority to allow this to happen. He has continued to tell me that he has a vision to speak on Sunday morning.

Two weeks ago, Trisha and Micah and Elijah spent the week at iGNITE Camp. iGNITE is the summer camp for Eagle Church in Zionsville, Indiana. This was Trisha’s fourth year leading worship for the camp. I have included a short video of the last night of camp just to give you a flavor of what they experienced throughout the week. It was a powerful week for my kids to not only be with old friends, but to reignite their passion for Christ.

The Sunday following iGNITE camp, the camp band led in worship and the youth pastor, Ian, gave a recap of the week and shared all that God did in and through the students. At the end of his talk, he said something that threw everyone for a loop. He said to the 120 students and the 400 adults in the auditorium that during worship that morning, he saw Elijah worshiping. He felt like God was prompting him to invite Elijah up to close out the service with a challenge for both the students and the parents. Elijah’s vision for speaking on Sunday morning had become a reality. I pulled out my phone and captured it on video. (The video shakes some because I may have been crying a little.)

As I was processing this whole series of events, my heart was opened to this truth: often the way God executes the vision he has placed in our heart doesn’t look like we thought it would. God had given Elijah a vision to speak on Sunday morning. None of us expected it to happen the way that it did.

Maybe you have a vision for a relationship that seems stalled. Maybe you have a vision for your career that appears further away now than it ever has. Maybe you have a vision for your marriage that consistently to take 2 steps forward and then 3 steps back. Maybe you have a vision for doing something great for God, and for whatever reason that vision hasn’t become a reality.

Can I challenge you today to not miss the things God is doing to fulfill his vision for your life, even if it isn’t playing out like you thought it would. Just because it doesn’t look like you think it should, doesn’t mean God isn’t at work. So don’t give up. Don’t stop pursing your God given vision. He often shows up in unexpected ways.

Has there been a time in your life that God fulfilled a vision you had in a way you didn’t expect?

A few weeks ago we were invited to some friends’ house to go blobbing. We had such a blast. I am not sure if you know what a blob is…it is like a huge pillow that floats on water. When we arrived, my 7-year old son Isaiah wanted to do this! There was a problem…you had to climb up a ladder to a 20 foot platform, jump down onto the blob, crawling to the end of the blob, only to have someone heavier than you jump off the same platform and send you launching into the air.

Isaiah was scared. As he came to the end of the platform, he was paralyzed.

So often in my relationship with God, I am the same way. I sense God calling me to a new level of trust; I know God is asking me to step out in a way that stretches me; I hear God’s voice prompting me to risk something I’ve never been willing to risk…and I’m all about it. Until its time to jump…then I’m paralyzed. I am so scared, so fearful, I can’t move.

I wonder how how many divine moments I’ve surrendered because of fear. Most of my life is lived between faith and fear. When things are going well; I have money in the bank; my marriage is going well; ministry is fulfilling; my kids are doing well; my friendships are deep and meaningful…I am filled with faith. Then there is financial uncertainty; relational conflict; ministry difficulty; an unknown outcome to a personal challenge…my heart is filled with fear. Most of our life is lived in the gap between faith and fear.

Can I share with you what I shared with my 7-year old son? Courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is overcoming your fear with faith. Courage is pushing through your fear and experiencing faith in greater ways than before.

Maybe today you are standing on the ledge in an area of your life and God is asking you to jump…to trust. But you are scared; you are fearful; you are paralyzed. Life is best lived courageously.

What area of your life do feel like God is asking you to be courageous?

(By the way, enjoy the video of my son being blobbed!)

As a parent it is a precious gift to be able to witness from the sidelines milestones in your child’s life. Yesterday Justin shared a small step in the life of our Elijah. I have to admit as his mom finding and reading his list melted my heart but not for reasons you might think.

Many of us have sweet memories of the hopes and dreams of who or what we want to become when we get older. But “older” has come and many of us are left with the battle scares of life. Our once hopes and dreams have become a distant childhood memory.

When Elijah was born for a few brief seconds the room became quiet as they realized there was a knot in his umbilical chord… but he was fine. He was a healthy baby boy.

Six months later he would be hospitalized because he was unable to breath. He would continue to return to the hospital every six months until the age of three.

At age two and half he had no speech. Yes he could make sounds but not real words, not even momma (he called me “ah-ah”). He screamed ALL the time. He screamed when he was happy and he screamed when he was mad. He screamed so much as a toddler that he has permanently damaged his vocal chords.

By age three we found out that he is a severe asthmatic and has allergies. He immediately went on medications and has not had a major asthma attack since 2003.

By third grade we noticed Elijah’s handwriting was not improving and he struggled with homework even though he was super smart. We had him tested and found that his handwriting was at the same level as his five-year-old brother.

By fourth grade he also continued to struggle with peer relationships. So we decided to have him tested both for fine and gross motor skills as well as social behavioral skills to try and put the pieces together as to how to help him. The diagnosis… Major Depression Disorder and at the precious age of nine Elijah had became suicidal.

Are you exhausted from this list? Does this seem like a childhood filled with hopes and dreams? Maybe you resonate with Elijah’s list? You face one hurdle in life and just as you jump over it you are faced with another. But yet there is His list. His sweet list filled with hopes and dreams. Hope that comes from a deep belief in a Savior that can, has and will do the impossible. In the midst of his painful journey Elijah continues to embrace a Savior that has been there with him through it all.

Although I knew we were getting close to putting the pieces together as to how to help Elijah I knew that his depression wasn’t from MDD. So we pressed on and kept asking questions and seeking help. Elijah’s willingness to continue to fight for help has always amazed Justin and I and we believe that God continues to shape his heart.  By winter of his fourth grade year we finally received a HUGE piece of the puzzle. Elijah has Attention Deficit Disorder. Having the right diagnosis and medication became LIFE CHANGING for Elijah!!! Although life isn’t perfect Elijah IS STILL MAKING A LIST.

So today I’d like to  challenge you to re-read Elijah’s list and ask yourself in the midst of shattered dreams, where hope seems lost, are you willing to make your own list…Again

On Sunday, I walked into my office after the last service at Cross Point Bellevue and saw my 11-year-old son, Elijah typing on my computer. He knows he isn’t supposed to touch my work computer, so it was about to get intense. My assumption was he was on Facebook so I quickly walked into the office where I could see the screen. What I saw blew my mind and brought me to tears.

Here is what I saw:

Life Achievements

1. Get straight A’s from 6^th grade through my senior year of college.
2. Be with God and never fall into the earth’s temptations.
3. Be obedient and show respect to others.
4. Have friendships with Christ-centered people that will not let me turn to the right or to the left.
5. Get an academic scholarship to Ensworth (a private high school in Nashville) at the age of 13.
6. Get a scholarship to Lincoln Christian University.
7. Start a church and never try to impress others, just change hearts.
8. Get married and have children and always show them that I love them.
9. Stay pure and never abuse my kids or my wife.
10. Stay healthy through out my life time.
11. Build an orphanage in my backyard.
12. Help my kids achieve their dreams no matter what.
13. RISK EVERYTHING!
14. Give everything to God, because it all belongs to Him.

Are you serious? This kid can use my work computer whenever he wants. Honestly, I was speechless. I still don’t know what to say about this list. My wife is obviously a great mom!

I feel like God has impressed one question on me that I can’t shake. The question is this: “How are you going to help him achieve this list?” What am I doing as a dad to help the orphanage be built; to help the church be planted; to help him find Christ-centered friends; to stay pure; to be with God; to risk everything?”

Here is what I know today…all three of my boys have a list like this. My other two may not type it out, they may not voice it, but God has written a list like this on their hearts. My wife has a list like this. I have a list like this. You have a list like this. Your wife has a list like this. Your husband has a list like this. Your child has a list like this.

I have an assumption today that I believe is true. As you were reading the list, one or two resonated with your heart. One spoke to you.

One of his life achievements is also one of yours…either from 20 years ago or from right now.

So I’m asking for an all-skate today. Will you share with us which life achievement is most relevant to your life, and why?