Jared Fogle and Sexual Brokenness

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Like you, I’ve been stunned the past few days hearing details of the Jared Fogle case. Our family just moved to Zionsivlle, Indiana, where Jared Fogle lives so the intensity of the story has been very noticeable in this community. I was sexually abused as a child. My heart breaks for the 14 victims and their families as they try to put the pieces of their lives back together. My…

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Why You Still Watch Porn

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There was an internal dialogue that went on inside my head for the 10+ years I struggled with pornography. The conversation went something like this: “That was the last time I’m ever going to watch that. I’m never doing that again.” The conviction I felt was real. The guilt and remorse I had was authentic. I was serious…until the next time I watched it or clicked it. Between the secret…

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3 Lies Porn Will Tell You

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Three years into our marriage, Trish woke up in the middle of the night and I wasn’t in bed. She walked out into the living room and looked at the TV and I quickly changed the channel. She began to question me about what I was watching; why I was watching that; and asking me repeatedly if I struggled with lust and pornography. I told her I was just channel…

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WHOLE Women’s Conference

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Last night, I read an article on the Huffington Post web site about pornography. The title of the article is “What I Wish I’d Known Before Watching Porn.” The article is very powerful and filled with truth. The interesting thing is that is written by a woman. Most of us don’t associate porn with women. For many of us, especially in the Church, we assume porn is a male issue….

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Porn and Playstation

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I read THIS ARTICLE at CNN.com that asks this question: Is the overuse of video games and the pervasiveness of online porn causing the demise of guys? Here is part of what the article had to say: Every compulsive gambler, alcoholic or drug addict will tell you that they want increasingly more of a game or drink or drug in order to get the same quality of buzz. Video game…

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Porn is Not the Problem

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Last night I was doing some reading and writing our weekly MentorUs resource and I came across this verse. It isn’t new, but it hit my heart in a brand new way: Ephesians 5:21: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. That word submit gets a bad rap sometimes. We say it in our wedding and then resent it in our marriage. But the word submit simply means…

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Succeeding as a Pastor, Failing as a Parent: Part 3

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I remember the first time we sat the boys down in December 2005,  to talk to them about the timing of me moving back home. We had just come back from a counseling appointment and felt like the time was right to begin this conversation. Our boys were ages 9, 6 and 3 at the time so our youngest wasn’t a part of this conversation. It was the two older…

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He Can’t Make You What You Pretend to Be

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One of the most common questions we are asked is “How?” How did you overcome your struggle with pornography? How did you heal from sexual abuse? How did you forgive? How did you repair your marriage? How did you renew your relationship with God? How did you start over? How did you overcome? How did you find strength? The answer to this question came as Trisha and I were speaking…

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Staying Pure When We’re Apart

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  Trisha and I have spent more time apart this summer than we have at any time since our separation five and a half years ago. I’d be lying if I said that it hasn’t brought up questions and concerns and conversations. I’ve been free from pornography for almost six years. It no longer has a grip on my heart. But neither of us are stupid either. I’m one choice…

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If You’re Tired of Hiding

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I came to a crossroads almost six years ago that changed every aspect of my life and marriage. It was a decision to come out of hiding. The secret I had kept of my struggle with pornography had robbed me of so much in my life and marriage. Over the past few weeks, I have met with and talked to several (more than 10) guys that have come to the…

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