Removing Roadblocks To Healing After Betrayal

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Today we are honored to have a guest blog post from Melody Lovvorn. Melody uncovered her husband’s betrayal in 2000, and has lived through the nightmare of having her family torn apart when her children were 6, 4, 2, and 6 months. After walking her own path of healing and wholeness, Melody and her ex-husband Tray were remarried in 2008.  Along with Tray, Melody has been devoted to personally coaching and…

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Understanding the Story of Another

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I’ve never experienced racism. I am white. My wife is Hispanic and I’ve seen members of her family treated differently because of the color of their skin. Some of my best friends in high school and college were black. I’ve seen some of the people I love the most be treated differently because of the color of their skin. Every human life is to be valued. The problem is without…

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I Met My Dad for the First Time

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Closure. The word itself isn’t that big, just to say it. It is a lot easier to say the word “closure” than it is to obtain it. Closure is elusive. It is something we all desire but don’t always know how to find. Closure is the nice pretty bow we perceive others have tied around their story. People read our blog, hear us speak, follow us on Instagram and think…

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The Difference Between Forgiveness and Trust

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Most of us want to forgive. We don’t want to hold a grudge. We don’t want to be bitter. We don’t want our lives to be consumed with resentment. But more than wanting to forgive, we don’t want to be hurt again. There is this natural belief that if we forgive, then we are not only saying what that person did was okay, we are being vulnerable enough to allow…

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Never an Excuse, But Always A Reason

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Our vision for RefineUs is to be a place that focuses on our hearts and not our relationship status. Married, single, dating, single again, remarried, or anywhere in between, this is a place for you. There are times we paint in broad strokes to speak to as many people as possible. Then there are times God lays something specifically on our heart that we want to share with a specific…

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Redemption and Restoration

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On Sunday, I had the opportunity to speak at Cross Point and wrap up our Pursued series. The series walked through the book of Hosea and focused on God’s pursuit of us. This Sunday we talked about the process of restoration. I’ve had several people ask when it would be online, so I wanted to share it with you today. I think the message of restoration is central to the…

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Seven Years Without Normal

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Although we share our story often, I (Trish) don’t think about the details that took place seven years ago because I live in who we are now and not who we were then. But every year I see October 9th on the calendar, it brings it all back a fresh my desperate desire to go back to “normal” the way life was before that day. To wake up without feeling…

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One Year After The Affair

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Seven years ago today, everything changed. With four words, I cost my wife, family and so many around me what seemed like everything. “I’m having an affair.” With those words, my sin was exposed and life as we knew it came to an end. Over the next two days, God would crush my pride, give me a heart of repentance and lead me to an amazing Christian counselor. It would…

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God’s Not Done With You

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When you grow up in church, there is really only one unpardonable sin. The Bible says that it is blasphemy, but in the church world I grew up in, it was adultery. When Trisha and I left ministry in 2005 due to my affair, I had no idea what the future held, but I was sure of one thing: God was done with me.  Over the next three years, God began to…

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Over the past couple of years, Starbucks has become a place where I often meet with women to talk about the hard things in life.  I remember one morning sitting with a friend, both of us cupping our coffee as if it was a microphone and she began to share her story with me. Her tears fell fast and her emotions poured out through her words even faster. She went…

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