The Gift of a Second Chance


Six years ago today, my amazing wife Trisha and I renewed our vows. I have never shared this publicly, but a week after the affair was confessed I received an envelope from a lady in our church. Inside the envelope was a note from Trisha and her wedding ring. I don’t remember the letter word for word, but I remember her overall message: Our first marriage has died. I need…

read more

When I Do Starts to Feel Like I’m Done


No one gets married expecting failure. No bride stands in a chapel full of family and friends, imagining how much she will despise her spouse in ten years. No groom gazes into the eyes of his bride, daydreaming of one day glaring at her across the courtroom as they divide their assets. We don’t aim for failed marriages, but the reality is that more than half of marriages in the…

read more

When The Ending Isn’t Happy


On Friday, we received an email that brought tears to my eyes. Here is an excerpt of that email: I love all the encouraging stories of marriage being restored. I’m just wondering what about the ones that don’t. My husband has choose to file divorce and not have anything to do with forgiveness. I just feel like everyone has the great stories about the ones that get restored and God…

read more

Stop Walking On Egg-Shells


I met with a couple the other day that had lost almost all hope for their marriage. They love each other. They just don’t like each other. They don’t like being around one another. Why? Because all they do is fight. Been. There. There isn’t a more miserable way to live than on egg-shells trying to avoid an argument. Trisha and I still have arguments. We still have conflict. One…

read more

When Consequences Outlive Grace


When we started the church in 2002, our mission statement was “Helping people find their way back to God.” We had no clue what we were doing, we just knew we wanted our church to be a church for people who had given up on church. One of the couples that helped us start the church truly had the gift of evangelism. They invited everyone. They invited neighbors; they invited…

read more

A Blog Can’t Change The World


Yesterday, our staff at Cross Point gathered in the afternoon to watch an online leadership conference. One of the first speakers is the pastor of a very large church in the Midwest. I’ve been to his church, met with his staff, and been very impressed with his ministry. But in one section of his talk, he went off on “popular bloggers” and “hip bloggers”. Then he made a statement that…

read more

This Is For You


Our good friend Alece Ronzino is our guest today at RefineUs. The other night, Alece sent us an email and this is part of what it said: I just kept thinking about all the people who find their way to your site so desperate for help and change. And for whatever reason, I was struck with the thought that there are probably some who come like I did a couple…

read more

It’s Not Your Fault


Statistically speaking, 1 out of 4 adult women have been sexually abused. Statistically speaking, 1 out of 7 adult men have been sexually abused. For every 100 women that read this blog, 25 of you have experienced sexual abuse. For every 100 men that read this blog, 14 of you have been sexually abused. I am one of the 7. I was sexually abused as a kid. For years, this…

read more

Wounded Healers


We started this blog almost two years ago. We had no idea what we were doing. One of my best friends told me we could help a lot of people find healing by talking about ours. So our journey began. I read this quote from Brennan Manning last night that brought tears to my eyes: Christians who remain in hiding continue to live the lie. We deny the reality of…

read more

The Opposite of What You Feel


It happens almost every week. Sometimes it happens a few times per week. We receive an email; a Facebook message or yesterday this was posted on my Facebook wall: Please help me help my friend navigate through the restoration of her marriage. She had an affair, which was revealed a week ago. Her family wants her out of the house. She wants restoration and is doing the right things to…

read more