The Only One

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Have you ever felt like you were the only one? My guess is that today, at some point, The Enemy will try to convince you that you are the only one. You are all alone. No one else can relate to what you feel. No one else understands what you are going through. You are the only one. You are the only one that is fearful You are the only…

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You Can’t Afford Not To

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Most of the time it is assumed that the biggest regret I have in our marriage is my choice to have an affair. The hurt was visible. The devastation was widespread. It must be my biggest regret. There is no doubt that I regret that choice every single day. But the single worst mistake that I’ve made in our marriage is refusing to go to counseling. It is my biggest…

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The Warm Hug of Truth

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An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship. Proverbs 24:26 For the first 32 years of my life, I struggled with honesty. I told the truth, but would exaggerate sometimes. It started with lies to my parents about who spilled milk on the floor in the kitchen, then where I was going on a Friday night. I would fudge the truth with friends on what colleges I was being…

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Ashamed to Be Naked

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Have you ever read a passage of Scripture that you have read 100 times before, but for some reason in that moment it hits you in a different way than it ever did before? That happened to me the other day. Genesis 2:25 “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” There is a shame epidemic in Christianity today. So many people feel ashamed. Ashamed…

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Succeeding as a Pastor, Failing as a Parent: Part 4

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We’re continuing this blog series today called Succeeding as a Pastor but Failing as a Parent. You can read the rest of the posts here: Introduction Part 1 Part 2 Part 3   The goal for this series is to share with you some mistakes that I made in the first 10 years of being a parent and some things we’ve tried to change and do better as parents over…

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Always in a Hurry

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Just a few weeks before the affair began, I found myself with a way out. I had a chance to extinguish the forest fire before it ever started. This choice would have saved my marriage. This would have allowed me to continue being the pastor of our church. I could have saved so many relationships from hurt and destruction. I didn’t take the way out. I didn’t have the courage…

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No Shame In Truth-Telling

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One of the hopes we have as we share our story is that we would inspire others to tell the truth. The truth is hard to say.  Sometimes the truth is harder to hear. But truth sets the capacity every relationship has to experience intimacy. Our relationship with God; our friendships; our dating relationships; our marriages all are impacted by our willingness to be truth-tellers. As we meet with people…

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The 80/20 Rule

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Last night my phone received several text messages. Two friends were texting me about the same issue just different circumstances. The first, I have walked with for more than a year. He has shared with me parts of his heart that he hasn’t shared with anyone else, other than his wife. He desire is freedom. His heart longs for healing…from his past…from his sin…from his addiction. He has been honest,…

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If You’re Tired of Hiding

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I came to a crossroads almost six years ago that changed every aspect of my life and marriage. It was a decision to come out of hiding. The secret I had kept of my struggle with pornography had robbed me of so much in my life and marriage. Over the past few weeks, I have met with and talked to several (more than 10) guys that have come to the…

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The Highest Price

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Trisha and I had the opportunity to speak at Mountain Lake Church yesterday. The services were powerful and we were so honored to share our story. After the first service we made our way to the lobby to greet people. A man made eye contact with me. His eyes were blood shot and his lip was quivering. He came up and put his mouth to my ear and he said,…

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