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	<title>Refine Us</title>
	<link>http://refineus.org</link>
	<description>To remove impurities from something...</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:00:14 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Giftedness &gt; Character</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		When everything melted down with our marriage in 2005, I had a lot of time to reflect and evaluate all the small mistakes that I made that led to the affair. What we realized was the affair was just a symptom of much deeper issues in my life. A few months after we got back [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/giftedness-character/</link>
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		<title>Affair Proofing Your Marriage</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		A few weeks ago, Trisha did a powerful post on 5 Things to Do When Your Spouse Has Had An Affair. I wrote a post on 5 Things You Must Do When You’ve Had An Affair. While we know that part of our ministry is to help couples who are in marital crisis, our heart [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/affair-proofing-your-marriage/</link>
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		<title>The Difference Between Conviction &amp; Shame</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		I have prayed about this post for a few days now. I have laid in bed thinking through the wording of what I want to say, because I feel it is so important. My hope is that no matter who you are, no matter where you’ve been, no matter your marital status or your tax [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/conviction-and-shame/</link>
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		<title>Is it Worth It?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		I have to admit that there have been times over the past year I have questioned whether it is worth it. Is RefineUs really worth it? Is it worth the pain of telling the story again? Is it worth being vulnerable?  Is it worth it to allow people to see parts of our heart and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/is-it-worth-it/</link>
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		<title>8 Things that Destroyed Our Marriage Part 6 (Repost)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		One would have to question as we dive into part 6 of 8 how in the world Justin and I made it past #5. What is scary about 1 through 5 is that all of them are or can be very subtle! For me it went something like this: “So what… if Justin prayed for [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/8-things-that-destroyed-our-marriage-part-6-repost/</link>
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		<title>The Purity Ring</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		Over the past year, my wife and I have been talking very frankly with our oldest son, Micah about sexual purity. He and I have gone through the book Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle. It is brutally honest and has paved the way to some great conversations. Conversations about wet dreams and pubic [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/the-purity-ring/</link>
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		<title>Reverse Messiah Complex</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		One of the things that Trisha and I realized early on when we left ministry in 2005 is that we both suffered from The Messiah Complex. Wikipedia defines this as: A messiah complex is a state of mind in which the individual believes he/she is, or is destined to become, a savior. 
This isn’t something [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/reverse-messiah-complex/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Jesus Doesn&#8217;t Want to Fix You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		I meet and talk with people all the time that are disappointed. At some point in their life; when they were growing up, when they were in college, when they were in financial trouble, when they got married, when they got divorced, when they had kids; they bought into this version of Christianity that The [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/jesus-doesnt-want-to-fix-you/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Pursuing a Healthy Family</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		A few weeks ago, I did a post asking the readers of RefineUs to help me with a message I was working on for Cross Point. The comments and the suggestions were awesome! Below is the message I gave last Sunday on Pursuing a Healthy Family. It was really a message that ALL of you [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/03/pursuing-a-healthy-family/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>8 Things that Destroyed Our Marriage Part 5 (Repost)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
			
				
			
		After reading the first four mistakes and knowing that there are four more mistakes coming, one might think “Man, your marriage sucked! No wonder you almost got divorced.” The irony is that we had a good marriage. We had the best marriage we could build. God in his grace and his goodness has shown us where [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://refineus.org/2010/02/8-things-that-destroyed-our-marriage-part-5-repost/</link>
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