On Losing Your Dream
Have you ever had a dream die? Ever had something you put your heart and soul come into fruition, only to be lost in the end?
Maybe it was your marriage.
Maybe it was your career.
Maybe it was a new business.
Maybe it was a relationship.
When you lost it, you lost a part of yourself.
Maybe your dream was lost due to the economy. Maybe your dream died because of someone else’s choice. No matter how you lose your dream, there is a death to be mourned.
In 2005, I lost my dream of pastoring the church Trish and I started in 2002. No one took this dream from me, I lost it due to my own sinful choices. When your own failure leads to the loss of a dream, sorrow is also accompanied by shame and regret.
When we returned to ministry in 2009 at Cross Point, I was so grateful for a church that gave me a second chance. Cross Point is an amazing church, led by one of my best friends, Pete Wilson…yet something was missing. Even though my ministry was resurrected, there was a part of my heart that still felt dead.
Over the next few years, I developed an unconfessed resentment toward God. We were a part of an amazing church; leading a growing an exciting marriage ministry; had thousands of people reading our blog each day; writing our first book, yet I was hurting. Despite all of those dreams coming true, they weren’t the dreams I really wanted. I felt like God had issued a life-time ban on MY dream.
I lived with an sense of disappointment for a few years.
A few weeks ago, Trish and I had the opportunity to spend the day with The Joy FM in Sarasota, Florida. We answered questions from listeners live on the air about marriage and relationships. (You can listen to the segments here)
Before we caught our flight back to Nashville, Trish and I spent an hour walking on the beach in Clearwater. Out of the blue, she leaned over and said, “I love doing life with you.” In that moment my eyes were opened to the dream I was living, not the dream I was trying to hold on to. Those words washed over me like the ocean waves.
Eight years after MY dream was lost, God still desired to heal this hurting part of my heart. In that moment, I felt God speak to me: “Don’t miss the joy of my dream for you because of the dysfunctional attachment you have to your dream.”
I bet you know what it’s like to lose a dream. Maybe your dream was taken by a spouse that left. Maybe your dream was lost when you lost your job. Maybe your dream is one or two pay grades and promotions away, and you feel your dream slipping away. Maybe you don’t even know how to dream anymore.
Can I share with you some questions God is bringing to my heart these days?
Are the dreams you are dreaming big enough?
Are the dreams you have only based on your ability to make them come true?
What if the dream you lost just gave your heart space to pursue the dream God has for you?
What if the dream you have wasn’t yours to keep, but just was yours to manage for a while?
Easter was a reminder that lost dreams can give way to resurrected dreams.