The Difference Between Trust and Fear

Our story would lend one to think that I have a right to live in constant fear that Justin will have another affair.

Or that Justin should fear that one day I would eventually leave him because of his choices.

This type of fearful thinking is so destructive. There is no doubt that trust had to be re-earned…but at some point for our relationship to move forward, trust had to overtake fear.

Fear says that you will not survive the fall out of losing your spouse so live in suspicion so that you can catch him/her when she messes-up.

Fear robs. Fear steals. Fear destroys. Fear causes us to control; to manipulate; to be suspecious.

Trust says…

I am fully aware that in trusting I’m being vulnerable to being hurt (again).

Trust says…

“I am for you” and “I am thinking the best of you”… not the worst.

Trust says…

I’m gong to love my spouse with reckless abandonment just as Jesus did for me when he died on the cross.

Trust says…

I will love my spouse without fear but with hope that the Holy Spirit will guide me as to how to love my spouse.

Trust says…

“God I will love my spouse fearlessly thinking the best of them at all times” and “if my spouse fails me YOU will never leave me or forsake me.”

Maybe you’re trying to accomplish through fear what can only be accomplished through trust.

Maybe the distance between the marriage you have and the marriage you truly desire is found in the difference in you being fearful or you trusting.

5 Responses to The Difference Between Trust and Fear

  1. Pingback: Favourite Links Friday: 6 awesome posts to check out!

  2. Bubba

    Trisha… what if you DID learn to re-trust again after being the victim of an emotional affair… only to have your spouse enter into yet ANOTHER emotional affair just a few years later?  Now I really don’t know how to ever trust again.

  3. Cris

    It’s hard to trust.. but I know that, above all, I must -and I can- trust God that He takes care of me, so I don’t need to ‘take care of myself’ by controling and manipullating things, and trying to ‘know’ things before someone wrongs me. In the relationship with my boyfriend, I recognize that I already had difficulty to trust, and then the circunstances and problems he had semeed to “prove” that my fear was right. Weeks or months ago I prayed that God would refine our relationship… so that only what is pure and true would remain.  This month I came to know your website and remembered my prayer. God bless.

  4. cshell

    This is something we still deal with…the words, “i don’t think I’ll ever fully trust you again” have been said.  Can we ever fully trust again?  In my human nature it just doesn’t feel possible….

  5. None

    This is me today, and the last several months. Thank you for being an instrument of God today and writing this. I was a reason you did.