The Language of Love

Years ago, Trish and I read the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It is an awesome book that talks about how each of us are designed by God to receive love in a specific way. We read it early in our marriage and the truth of the book really allowed us to get to know one another better.

The five love languages the book discusses are: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch and Gifts.

Trisha’s love language is physical touch.

I’m just joking. 🙂

Each person has two primary love languages. Trish’s love languages are quality time and acts of service. Mine are gifts and physical touch. (words of affirmation comes a close third)

Since we moved to Nashville 3 1/2 years ago, I have said at least once a month how much I miss the office in our old house in Indiana. I loved having a space to do my quiet time in the morning. I loved having a separate space to write or study. I just missed having a home office. The way that our current house is laid out, it didn’t seem like we could ever have that space here.

After spending 8 days in Kenya, Trish and the boys picked me up from the airport on Saturday night. We pulled into the driveway and Trish said, “I want us to go through the front door not the garage door. I have a surprise for you.”

I love surprises. I love gifts.

We walk into the house and immediately to my right I see this:


What used to be our dinning room, Trish repainted, rearranged and repurposed so many spaces in our house to create this unbelieveable office. She replaced the light fixture in this room, created a dinning space in another room and replaced the light fixture in that room.

It was an amazing gift. Here is what is so cool: It was a win for her because she got to love me with her language-acts of service and in my language-gifts.

I was blown away. I am still blown away.

All together she spent about $100. She made me feel like I was worth $1 million dollars. Not because of the money she spent but because of the intentional way she thought about me and loved me.

What is one thing you could do for your spouse this week that would scream, “I LOVE YOU!”?

Maybe it’s doing the laundry. Maybe it’s painting the kitchen. Maybe it’s watching the kids. Maybe it’s initiating sexual intimacy. Maybe it’s turning the game off and listening to your spouse. Maybe it’s going for a walk. Maybe it is saying, “I’m proud of you.” or “You really look beautiful tonight.” (Saying that might lead to some physical touch.)

What does it look like for you? One thing is for sure: loving your spouse doesn’t have to be expensive, but it can be priceless.

What is your love language and what is your spouses?

2 Responses to The Language of Love

  1. Thank you for this reminder. My husband and I celebrate 10 years of marriage this Friday. We are going on a little mini-moon but you’ve inspired me to put my thinking cap on.

  2. diane1230

    My love hanguage is words of affirmation, and my husband’s is acts of service. I try and do the dishes and laundry without being asked. (He cooks anyway, and so I agreed when we got married to do the dishes.) Friday night, I spent three and a half hours on folding laundry and tidying up our room. The biggest problem with our primary launguages is that when I do something for him — as his love language — I also yearn for a word of affirmation and I don’t always get it (not because he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t always immediately express it). But I’m trying not to lean on that and remember I did it for love not for my own good.