Valentine’s Week Relationship Series: Jennifer Smith
Today’s post is from our friend, Jennifer Smith. Jennifer is the founder of Unveiled Wife and the author of the book, Wife After God. She has been a huge supporter of our ministry and we are honored to have her share today.
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The night was cold, but nothing in comparison to the frigid temperatures of my heart towards my husband. I slid into bed, quickly turning my back to him as I closed my eyes and closed myself off from him. Every night was beginning to look the same, cold and quiet.
The conflicts we had been encountering in our relationship were adding up and the pressure seemed unbearable. I retreated into the dark and lonely place of isolation where I rejected my husband and avoided God, angry at the way things were unfolding. Bitterness and pride kept me in the cold.
As February approached I dreaded having to spend the month of love with my husband. My marriage was not satisfying and I just wanted to escape. I began preparing for a “girls-only” weekend trip to visit my friend in New York. In my heart I was excited to leave the pain I was facing in marriage, hopeful to experience a change of scenery.
However, as the date of departure grew closer my family heard of my plans to get away and could not resist the urge to join me. They even talked my husband into coming. As much as I wanted to go by myself, there was a part of my heart that was thankful, knowing I would have accountability…so I never said no to their request to join.
That weekend in New York could have otherwise resulted in catastrophic damage had I gone alone.
The truth is that spending time with my husband in the Big City actually stimulated our relationship, giving us something to enjoy as we ventured it together. I realized that weekend what I thought I would have much rather enjoyed without my husband was just an illusion; a lie I believed, and if I had followed through with, could have further added to the discontentment I was experiencing in my marriage.
That weekend still stands out as a highlight for me and my husband, memories we hold very dear.
I want to encourage those of you who may be experiencing discontentment in your marriage…those of you who are desperately seeking a way to escape Valentine’s Day or the month of love so that you do not have to face your marriage or the issues looming. Hang in there my friend. I challenge you to stop listening to the lie that being alone is better or that running away will help you, it just isn’t true.
I challenge you to spend time with your spouse and face your marriage right where it is at.
Perhaps you can get away with your spouse, even if for just a day, to a new city or town. Explore together and let your experience stimulate your relationship. Hold hands and resist the bitterness that will try to repel you from each other. Talk about the issues that you are encountering in marriage, be honest about your discontentment, and then find a way to overcome it together.
You can be satisfied in your marriage. I went from being completely discontented to completely fulfilled and I believe you can too! But you must be willing to hang in there even in the most difficult seasons. Embrace this challenge for Valentine’s Day and see if it radically impacts your marriage like it did mine!