3 Lies Porn Will Tell You

Three years into our marriage, Trish woke up in the middle of the night and I wasn’t in bed. She walked out into the living room and looked at the TV and I quickly changed the channel. She began to question me about what I was watching; why I was watching that; and asking me repeatedly if I struggled with lust and pornography.

I told her I was just channel surfing. I argued with her about what she saw. I convinced her that I didn’t struggle with porn or lust. She had nothing to worry about. I was lying.

I didn’t know it at the time, but that night was the first of many opportunities I had over the first 10 years of my marriage to be honest about my porn addiction. I had friends I could have talked to. I had accountability partners I lied to. I had other pastors I blew off when asked about sexual sins and struggles.

In my mind, my intentions were good…I was trying to protect my marriage. The reality is, I bought the lies porn told me.

For the amount of people who struggle with this, we don’t talk about it near enough. We don’t talk about in our families. We don’t talk about it in our churches. We think avoiding it will make it go away. Statistically speaking, over 55% of the men reading this post have some regular exposure to pornography. It isn’t going away.

Here are the lies porn tells you every day.

1. That was the last time.

No matter how many times you’ve looked at pornography, that was your last time. Because you truly believe it is your last time buying the magazine; last time going to the web site; last time downloading that movie, you don’t need to confess it, because it was the last time. Until tomorrow or next week or next month. It is the last time…until the next time. If porn can convince you that this time is the last time you’ll never tell anyone.

2. You can stop anytime you want.

You know what pornography has done to other marriages, to other friends, to other families, to other church leaders…but you aren’t really “addicted” to pornography. You can stop anytime you want. Besides it doesn’t have the same effect on you that it does on other people. It won’t hurt your life, your marriage, your kids, your church, your ministry like it has other people. You are in control of porn, it doesn’t control you.

3. Hiding is the best way to deal with it.

Porn will try to convince you that you confession will cost you too much. You think you are helping yourself and your marriage by hiding your porn addiction. Your wife won’t understand. Your marriage won’t recover. Your credibility won’t be able to be rebuilt. Hiding sin will never provide you with the power to overcome it. The freedom you long for is found in confession. Freedom costs you something up front, but not as much as bondage will cost you over time.

The power of this struggle lies in its ability to keep us quiet. If you struggle with porn, talk to someone. Talk to a friend, your pastor, email us…

Believing lies will never give you the power to overcome them.

Truth conquers lies and sets us free.