5 Things a Dad Needs to Be

I had an amazing Father’s Day yesterday. I am so blessed with three boys that love God and love me with a love that I’ve done nothing to deserve but I cherish with all of my heart. They love me well.

If I’m honest, each of the past few years, Father’s Day has been a tough day for me. Three years ago, my parents got divorced after 36 of marriage. A month later I found out that my dad isn’t my biological father. I was adopted when I was a toddler.

Those two events revealed daddy issues that I never knew I had. I had issues that I never thought I would have.

For the last three years, I’ve been on a journey. A journey to find healing. A journey to understand what God as “Father” truly looks like. A journey to understand what being a Godly father is.

I am not healed, but I am healing. I don’t always relate to God as Father but I’m learning to trust again. I am not a perfect father, but I do desire to be more Godly each day.

Forgive the alliteration, but here are five things that I think God calls us to be as fathers.

1. Be in love with God

The most important love affair you can have as a father is with your heavenly Father. Your kids will see more of your relationship with God than they will hear the lessons, lectures and speeches you give them. Be in love with God.

2. Be in love with your wife

The easiest way to earn credibility with your kids is to love your wife. Cherish her. Value her. Make her a priority. If you aren’t married and are a single father, teach your kids how to value women by how you treat them; how you talk about them; how you date them. You are teaching them to love.

3. Be available

Most of the time our kids don’t need a lesson or advice, they simply need us to be available. They need us to not work after we get home from work. They need us to put away our phone. They need us to close our laptop. They don’t need us to be the best dad in the world, just available.

4. Be intentional

Nothing great in your life will happen by accident. You won’t drift into being a great dad. You will have to choose it. You will have to choose it when you are tired. You will have to choose it when you are uncertain of the future. You will have to choose it when you’ve given the best part of your day to people that don’t love you like your kids love you. Be intentional.

5. Be authentic

You can’t fake your way to be a great dad. You don’t have to. Your kids will learn more about grace from your mistakes than they will from you trying to hide them. In the process you will teach them to be authentic.

I’m not a parenting expert. I am a work in progress. But these five things guide me. I feel like I am starting to hit my stride as a dad. Maybe these five things can guide you too.

What is one thing that guides you as a parent?