Between Concern and Control
Aug 28, 2022Its 10:37 and I’m trying to will myself to sleep. The past five days have been a whirlwind of emotions…
On Friday, we had the opportunity to do a RefineUs Ministries marriage retreat at a church where Justin was the youth pastor in 1998. In attendance were three of our students from that student ministry as well as dear friends we have known for years. We were also blessed to have a couple that have been married for 50 YEARS attend! It was an amazing time of teaching and sharing. Seeing couples choose to go to hard places in their relationship to allow healing to begin was beyond words. Our hearts were filled with a sense of joy of what God had done but also a heaviness knowing the hard work that’s ahead for these couples.
Sunday, we had baptisms at Cross Point and Justin spoke. It was so cool to witness 10 people at the Bellevue Campus get baptized by our Pastor Pete. One of those 10 was Pete’s neighbor he has known for 10 years. I later found out that 57… YES 57 people got baptized at our Nashville campus. AMAZING! What an honor to be a part of church that continually fights to provide a place where people are loved and challenged to grow. It truly was an amazing weekend!
But then Monday came…
The physical and emotional fatigue of all that took place started to set in. Desperate for rest with none in site I found myself constantly in deep thought over the reality of so many hurting marriages. Later that morning I got a text from a dear friend of mine. She has been fighting for her marriage for months but she is loosing the battle and divorce is quickly on the horizon. Seeing her cry that deep desperate cry was almost more than I could take. I felt helpless as her friend to heal her heart from an ache I know to well.
So here we are Tuesday night and its now 11:00pm. Trying to sleep yet caught in my thoughts. Tuesday just like Friday-Monday has been filled with amazing highs and heartbreaking lows. I hear the wind blowing outside and can’t help to think of my family in Indiana and Illinois and wonder if they are okay in the midst of a blizzard. Do they have power? Are they staying warm? Or what about my dear friend who sat her kids down tonight to tell them that mom and dad are getting a divorce?
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months or maybe years where life seems so turbulent? Exhausted between all the good and the bad of life that you long for days where your biggest problem is that your garage door opener isn’t working.
Tonight I sat down and read the prayer for my daily devotion:
My Prayer…
Precious and righteous Father, please use me today as your servant. Take my words and use them to bless, encourage, and comfort. Take my influence and use it to mend and inspire. Take my time and fill it up with your concerns. May the glory and honor of all I do ultimately bring glory to you. Your grace has saved me; please now use me to share that grace with others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Such a gentle reminder that it is God who gives me what I need when I need it. My job is to follow after him and he will guide me through the rest.
Easy to say…
Hard to do…
