Check Your Texts

Over the past few days, we’ve been in several conversations with people rocked by affairs. We’ve talked to devastated spouses trying to find hope and healing because of what their spouse chose. We’ve talked to repentant and remorseful spouses that broke trust and destroyed their marriage. Some conversations have been in person, some over the phone, some over email. Each couple; each relationship; each mistake; each affair were all different. But one thing kept being repeated.

-We reconnected on Facebook then started texting

-She started texting him for work and it grew from there

-He DM’d me on Twitter and we started flirting with each other; it seemed innocent at first

-Our texts started out as business, then turned personal, then got inappropriate 

No one thinks they will have an affair. We don’t get married with a date circled on the calendar when we will cheat on our spouse.

Our hearts have been so heavy the past few days thinking about all of the hurt and all of the damage that started with texting. People are always more bold and more courageous over text, twitter and Facebook than they ever would be in person.

We wanted to share some warning signs when it comes to texting.

It could be a red flag…

–When sending or receiving a text from a certain person causes an emotional reaction in your mind (only you will know this)

-When you or the person you are texting start exchanging emotions or personal feelings

-When you the person you are texting compliments you on a personal or physical level

-Any time you send or receive a text that you wouldn’t be able to read out loud to your spouse

-Anytime you send or receive a text that is flirtatious or sexual in nature

-Anytime you are texting someone more than you are texting your spouse

-When you share frustrations or unmet expectations with someone of the opposite sex about your own marriage

-When you send a text that compares that person with your spouse

-When you receive a text that compares you with their spouse

Words carry power. Please choose the words you text to anyone of the opposite sex wisely.

You probably don’t intend to cheat on your spouse. No one does. Inappropriate relationships can start with a text message and left unevaluated lead to a place that brings all kinds of hurt and brokenness.

If you are in a place where inappropiate texting is taking place and you feel like you don’t have a way out, please email us. Even if you’ve already crossed a line, you don’t have to cross the next one. We are here to help.