Culture of Grace

Every family has a culture. Every relationship develops a culture. Every friendship, every marriage has a culture…they have DNA; they have things that they are known for and make them distinctive.

When the affair happened in 2005, our family’s culture was exposed. There was no hiding who we really were. Dysfunction was in our DNA. Everyone knew it. We stood at a crossroads…what type of culture would we create from here?

Our new family culture could have easily been made up of fear. Fear dominates a lot of people’s relationships. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being hurt again. Fear of being lied to. Fear of being disappointed. Fear of failing. Trisha had every right to live in fear; her worst nightmare had come true.

Insecurity could have become the DNA of our family. Suspicion could have ruled our relationships. Distrust could have dominated our hearts and minds. It would have been so easy to choose suspicion to lead our family. After all, can you really ever trust someone that’s been unfaithful?

Trisha took the lead in the recreation of our family culture. She chose grace.

A culture of grace says everyone’s accountable but no one is perfect. A culture of grace says that you don’t have to hide your mistakes, this is a place you can share them. A culture of grace says I am going to believe the best and be proven wrong. A culture of grace says I know you are going to struggle; I know you are going to fail; I know you are going let me down…but I’m not going anywhere. We are in this together. A culture of grace values transparency over rule keeping and honesty over perfection.

A culture of grace provides freedom that trying to keep the rules will never bring. A culture of grace brings out a desire in each of us to want to be worthy of the grace we are being offered rather than scared of the mistakes that might be exposed. A culture of grace brings a desire to live in the light rather than hiding in darkness.

Grace is attractive. Grace is irresistible. Grace has the power to transform a marriage; change a friendship; resuscitate a relationship.

A culture of grace has to be chosen…it won’t create itself.

Fear is logical.

Insecurity makes sense.

Suspicion is easier.

Grace transforms. Grace sets-free.

In one word, what is the culture of your family? What do you want it to be?