Just Finish
Aug 29, 2022On Saturday, Trisha and I drove to Indianapolis and participated in the Indy Mini Marathon. Three years ago we registered for the this event and due to some injuries, we had to run the 5k instead of the 13.1 mile half marathon. So this race has been our goal since 2009.
Here are a few pics of our race. We had a blast, and tried to make it an experience and not just a race to run.
The race was going really well and Trish and I were running at a 12:00 minute pace. At each mile marker we would fist bump and congratulate one another…until we got to mile 10. At mile 10, the limited amount of training I did for the race caught up to me, and my legs started cramping up. Trish spent the next 5 minutes helping me stretch my legs. The next three miles would be at a much slower pace. We finished the race, but could have finished much faster had I been in better shape.
As I ran, I saw thousands of people in front of us. It was obvious that we weren’t going to win this race; but our goal wasn’t to win, it was to finish.
Our goal wasn’t just to finish it was to finish together. Finishing together was the win.
We didn’t compare times with other people; we didn’t wish that we were somewhere else; we didn’t try to compete with or out perform other runners…we were just trying to finish.
How many times in our marriage do we focus so much on things that don’t matter as much as finishing together? We compare our marriage to other marriages; we compare our spouse with our friends’ spouse; we focus on our spouse’s faults and shortcomings that don’t matter nearly as much as finishing…together.
Maybe there is a lack of joy in your marriage right now. Maybe your sense of fulfillment is a distant memory. Can I offer a few suggestions?
–Shift your focus from competing with your spouse to competing for your spouse. Does your spouse feel that you are for them or against them? Do you feel your spouse is for you or against you? Seeing your marriage as a race to be run together rather than a competition between you and your spouse can make all the difference.
-Celebrate the mile markers along the way. A fist bump can go a long way. Too often we are so focused on what’s next or what’s wrong or what didn’t meet our expectations that we don’t take time to celebrate the journey along the way. Some mile markers you can never get back; celebrate them along the way.
-Wait for each other. There will be times that you are running at a different pace than your spouse. Rather than resenting them for not keeping up, stop and wait for them. The value you add in that process is priceless.
-Just finish. There will be times when it is painful; when it is messy; when it will feel like you can’t go on; when discouragement and dispare over take your heart. Dig deep and keep running.
