My Confession

Two years ago this month, Justin and I shared our story for the very first time. Aaron Brockett asked if we would come and share our story at his church, Trader’s Point. At first I told Justin “no”! He didn’t push me and just gave me time to think and pray about it. As time past I felt God nudging me to take this step of faith and share… and so we did. What we didn’t expect was the overwhelming response by the people in the congregation. It was like someone had ripped open a massive wound that had never been acknowledged before.

Justin and I were lost. We didn’t know how to help so many people. I met with so many different women that next week that I thought my heart was going to physically break. They didn’t want “5 steps to a better marriage” they just wanted to know that there was hope! I was where they were just 4 years prior and deeply felt their pain. But Justin and I knew we couldn’t continue at this pace and needed to figure out another way to help people.

That’s when a good friend told us about blogging. Justin and I had sheltered our selves from the world for 3 years. We had no idea what a blog was! We didn’t even know our friend had one. But we were desperate to share our story for two purposes.

1.    To give hope to hurting marriages and individuals.

2.    To give God ALL the glory for the miracle of our marriage.

As our blog grew so did the opportunities to speak. We spoke at our dear friend’s church in inner city Tampa, Florida. People in the congregation wept as we shared. We shared handshakes, hugs and prayers but when we left I felt such sadness. We opened this major wound and then just left them to bleed out.  I felt the sting of that experience for weeks to come. I found myself asking God what on earth more could we do with our pitiful story of brokenness? If I do anything more with RefineUs then that means I’m committing to this being a full fledge ministry and I’m not sure I’m ready or even want that.

As I wrestled with next steps I felt like God kept bringing to mind

Mathew 25:14-29 (you can read it here)

A story of three people given the opportunity to do something great with something they had been given. After reading this story for the 10^th time it finally hit me. Am I going to bury the story that God has given to me or go do something with it? I had to make a choice and decide between helping others (even though it would make me vulnerable) or keep my story to myself. I chose not to bury His story. Ttwo years later God has blown the doors wide open in giving us the opportunity to give hope to hurting marriages and individuals and give God ALL the glory for the miracle of our marriage.

So here’s my confession.

As opportunities grow for RefineUs there’s this shadow that looms that tries to cast a different reality for who we are and what we are about. It says that as you get more recognition you will have to fight to maintain your “platform” and constantly make it bigger and better. It tries to paint a picture that we have arrived and know all the answers.

I’m not sure who’s casting it but its there and often times it makes me want to jump ship. But here is what I know. I LOST EVERYTHING and God was still there. What we do for RefineUs doesn’t define who we are; rather its an overflow of who we are. We have a passion to help the church become the hope of the world by helping people, no matter where they are in their relationship with God, find hope, healing and a fresh start.

So my question is do YOU have a story God longs for you to share? Does it mean he will launch a ministry through you?

I have no idea but I do know that every life on this earth counts. If you change one life by choosing to let God use you I promise you it will be worth it!