Redefining the List

We all have a list.

You know that list.

It is that mental list of all the things your husband does wrong. It is that scorecard you keep so your wife will know how much she owes you. It is that list you have carefully saved and tucked away so you can pull it out at just the right moment in your next argument. Our list is our ammunition. Our list is our defense strategy.

Most married couples I know are scorekeepers. We know the score at all times. We know if we are up or down. We know how to leverage the score for our benefit. We know just the right time to say “SCOREBOARD” to our spouse to shut them down; prove them wrong; end an argument. (Not resolve it, just end it.)

We all have an ability to keep score. We all have a natural bent to scorekeeping. It is in our nature. Trish and I were professional score keepers. We knew the score at all times. We kept score for years.

Score keeping is exhausting, because even in victory, you defeat the person you love the most.  

What if there was a better way to experience marriage:

What if we redefined score-keeping? What if we continued to keep score in our marriages just in a different way?

What if I kept track of how many times Trish keeps a promise. 

What if I made a mental note of how many times chores are done so I don’t have to do them? 

What if I kept track how many times Trisha does something nice with nothing asked in return? 

What if I had a running total of the times she’s encouraged me, spoke truth to me, and built me up? 

What if I spent as much time and as much energy keeping score of her wins and not just losses? 

We could redefine the scoreboard. Isn’t that what God did for us?

What if we lived out in our marriages what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:5-Love keeps no record of wrongs?