Running on Empty

I have a disorder. I have the “I want to see how far I can drive AFTER my low fuel light comes on” disorder. Anyone else with me? I’ve gotten to the point now where I keep track of my mileage after the light, trying to beat my own record for mileage driven after the low fuel light illuminates. I have actually prayed out loud before ” God, you turned water into wine, you multiplied fish and bread, you can multiply the gas in my tank so I can get to the gas station.” And then God said, “I’ve multiplied the gas stations you’ve been driving past for the last two days, you’re on your own!”

I have a spiritual disorder: I have been known to see how long I can live when I’m running on empty. When I’m running on empty in my spiritual life I have come to recognize the low fuel light. When I’m running on empty:

-God’s voice is harder to hear

-I feel promptings from the Holy Spirit less

-I am more irritable

-I am more selfish

-I don’t serve my wife and family with a heart of gratitude

-I do ministry out of obligation and not out of the overflow of my heart

The danger for many of us is that we don’t recognize when the spiritual “low fuel” light comes on, or we do and we just ignore it. I became a master ignorer for the first 10 years of my ministry career. I got so good at ignoring it that I could actually convince people that I had a full tank, when I was running on fumes. I finally crashed and burned in 2005.

I feel like I am running on empty this week. So… I’m not going to ignore it, I’m not going to “try to get through this week, then I can spend some time refueling.” I’m going to take little steps each day to replenish my heart so that I can live out the mission God has given me as a husband, father, pastor and friend.