What I Would Tell the 22-Year-Old Me

Last week Justin did a post giving advice to his 22-Year-old self. That post got me (Trisha) reflecting on time and decisions. Thinking back a few short years ago, okay maybe a lot of years ago when I was twenty-two, I’m reminded of how much God has carried me through.

I’m thankful for the life God has given me and feel blessed to share this life with three amazing boys and a husband who truly is my best friend. Yet as I reflect, I’m also soberly reminded of the trials and heartaches this life has brought me. Lessons learned often through my own stupidity, stubbornness and fear. If I could go back in time here are three things I would tell the twenty-two-year-old me.

1. How you deal with conflict today will affect how you deal with conflict in the future.

I grew-up with my mom, dad, older-sister and younger-brother. We were close and even though we had our seasons of getting on each other’s bad side I always knew they had my back. It didn’t matter if I was in the wrong or in the right. It didn’t matter if I did something stupid that hurt their feelings because at the end of the day we all knew we deeply loved each other and would always be there for each other. I took them for granted and never really held myself accountable for how I dealt with conflict.

But when my parents got divorced after twenty-five-years of marriage, my perception of believing that my family would always have my back was shattered. Instead of learning how deal with conflict in a healthy way I choose to continue to deal with it the only way I knew how… being mean. I convinced myself that I was justified in responding with self-protected, mean laced words now more than ever.

What I wished I knew then that I know now is dealing with conflict in a healthy way will never come naturally. We are sinful broken people who will naturally want to stick-up for our rights or ignore that our rights have been violated. But when we surrender those rights to God we realize that conflict can be a catalyst for deeper intimacy in our relationships.

2. Trust your intuition and listen to the thread.

There were countless times I would know in my gut I needed to take a step of faith but chose not to out of self-doubt. A pastor once told me to listen to the “threads” in my life. Meaning surround yourself with mentors, friends and family that you trust and know love you. When making a hard decision listen to the common thread you hear in their words. Then take time to pray, read the bible and allow the Holy Spirit to interweave your common threads. Then buckle-up because God’s going to knock your socks off with plans He is asking you to step into that far out exceeds any plans you could come up with on your own.

3. People WILL fail you but God’s love NEVER fails!

People WILL fail you but God’s love NEVER fails!

People WILL fail you but God’s love NEVER fails!

Your family, friends, co-workers anyone with skin is going to fail you in one way or the other. We are fallible creations but the Maker will never let you down. When you hold to this truth you will love more deeply, give more freely and risk the hurt that comes when we choose to love! It won’t be easy but always worth it!

P.S. #4 Eat better and exercise often because having three babies will make your freshman 15 seem like a piece of cake! ☺