When Life Gets Crazy Part 2

Yesterday, I did a post on two questions to ask yourself when life gets busy. So often in my life I think my schedule is the issue. If I just didn’t have as much going on, then I would be less busy. The questions we asked yesterday dig below the surface and allows us to see the condition of our heart in the midst of our busy schedule.

Today, I’d like to get practical.  I’m not an expert, but simply a practitioner. I’ve learned these things by messing them up…sometimes over and over. Here are four things you can do when your life gets busy:

1. Don’t try to make it up

This is the biggest mistake I made in this area. I used to always promise Trisha and the boys, “I know I’m busy, but I’ll make it up to you.” The truth is once time is gone, it’s gone. There is no making it up. Out of guilt and if I’m honest, not wanting Trisha to be mad at me, I’d make this promise and everyone would always end up disappointed. What usually happened is that we had such little time together that our expectations for time together were so unrealistic everyone was mad that our “family time” didn’t live up to the hype. Once it’s gone, it’s gone…don’t promise to make it up.

2. Have an end in sight

While you can’t promise to make it up, you can promise an end to the busy season and stick to it. Right now, our calendar is circled on November 15th. Our family has talked about this season and we’ve made a promise that we will not schedule anything from November 15th through the month of January. Having an end in sight allows everyone to know this is a season, it isn’t a lifestyle.

3. Say No

Saying no to good things gives you availability to say yes to better things. When you are willing to say, “No” to things that make you feel important but make your family feel devalued, you are not just controlling your schedule, you are allowing God to build your character. I share with Trisha things that I have said, “No” to and we share with our boys certain things that we’ve said, “No” no as well. This isn’t  passive aggressive tactic to get the person to say, “Oh, it’s okay you don’t have to say  no.” It is an honest conversation that says, “I value you and our relationship more than this event or activity.” This has been a value adding conversation for us to have a family.

4. Create time

When our kids were younger their schedule was dictated by our schedule. Where we went, they went. When we were ready to leave, they were ready to leave. As they have gotten older, we have found ourselves competing with their schedule. We’ve realized if we don’t create time with them, we aren’t going to get it. I have breakfast with one of our boys almost every week. Trisha and I try to take our kids to school every day we are in town. In non-busy seasons we eat dinner together 3-4 times per week. In busy seasons, we go out to eat and Trisha takes everyone’s phone. 🙂  A few weeks ago, Trisha went with me to visit someone in the hospital and then we grabbed a late dinner together. It wasn’t the most romantic date we’ve ever had, but we had intentional time together. You can look at your calendar and create time for those closest to you…get up a little earlier; leave 30 minutes early from work; grab breakfast on Saturday mornings. Create that time.

There is no doubt that we don’t always get this right. But we try to be aware of our schedule and realistic with our expectations.

What do you do to navigate busy seasons?