4 Questions that Lead to Freedom

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Why do we hide so easily? Fear of rejection. Fear of judgment. Fear of the consequences of honesty. Fear of losing a relationship. No decision made in fear is ever healthy. I think it was Andy Stanley that said, “We fear the consequences of confession because we have yet to realize the consequences of concealment.” I spent three years in an “accountability “ relationship in which I wasn’t transparent. I…

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The Invitation to Belong Part 1

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It was the summer of 1996. Only four months into my twenty-first year of life and already so much life had been lived. Justin and I had barley passed the finish line into our first year of marriage when we became first time parents. In the span one year, we went from college life, to married life, to soon-to-be parent life. So much life change in one year. On July…

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The Silence of Saturday

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Silence with God is a good thing. It is often in our silence that God speaks the loudest. We are even commanded in Scripture to “be still and know that He is God.” Our silence helps us feel God’s presence. Silence from God is completely different. Silence from God is scary. Silence from God is disappointing. God’s silence causes us to doubt His presence. We often believe God’s presence is…

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IF:Gathering: Finding My Messy Community

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In the fall of 2013, I was invited by one my closest friends Lindsey Nobles, to attend a retreat with 60 other women in Austin, Texas to hear about the vision of a new ministry called IF:GATHERING. I had no idea what to expect or who would be there and to be honest, I really didn’t want to go. I was in the midst of some major changes for me…

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What We’ve Learned from 3,000 Couples

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A few years ago, we almost quit marriage ministry. Before the book; before the RefineUs Weekend; before our marriage conferences….we almost called it quits. We almost quit not because we didn’t want to invest in marriages but because we were doing a horrible job equipping couples to have the marriage God had in mind. We traveled and shared our story but never walked with couples along the journey of marriage. Because…

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Everything in Common

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A few days ago I was talking to a friend that just started dating a young lady. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he told me how they met; about the friends that had introduced them and his first impressions of her. He told me where she was from, a little about her family and what he liked most about her. A few minutes into our conversation he…

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She Reads Truth

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One of my favorite things about RefineUs, is the opportunity it has given us to travel and meet people from all over the world. One of my (Trisha) most favorite and memorable introductions took place when I met Raechel Myers in 2013. I initially met Raechel as we both boarded a plane in Nashville, TN to attend the same conference in Austin, Texas. To begin with, I was a bit…

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2016: The Best Year of Your Marriage!

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  What if 2016 could be the best year of your marriage? The reality is you can’t change 2015…It’s almost over. But you can have a great start to 2016 by being a part of The RefineUs Weekend Experience in Nashville. Twice a year, we host a weekend in Nashville, called The RefineUs Weekend Experience, to help couples move from where they are with God and each other, to where…

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3 Ways to Actually Enjoy Your Family This Thanksgiving

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Holidays used to be really hard on our marriage. Some of our biggest arguments would come on our way to or on our way home from Thanksgiving or Christmas with family. Unmet expectations. Unspoken expectations. Little patience. Harsh tones of voices. Short fuses. Those are some phrases that described us as we spent holidays with extended family. When our marriage imploded and we began to address some of our own…

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If You Want to Grow Spiritually

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Spiritual growth isn’t easy. Spiritual growth as a couple is even more difficult. My wife, Trisha and I have spent more than twenty years in ministry. We are supposed to be professionals at spiritual growth and discipleship. Despite our bible college education, spiritual growth in our marriage was a weakness for many years. One of the reasons we struggled in this area is because we looked at spiritual disciplines as…

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