For the first ten years of our marriage, I had a reoccurring feeling. Sometimes the feeling was prompted by an argument between Trish and myself. Sometimes it was simply a comment that she made. Sometimes, if I’m honest, this feeling come from deep inside my heart, because I knew there was...
The words we say have power. They have power to breath life into a relationship. Words have power to build up a marriage. They have power to inspire a child. They have the power to shape a soul. Words have power to destroy as well. They can wound a heart; they can damage a marriage; they can...
It is so easy for me to have a judgmental heart. It’s so easy for me to think that I am better than someone else.
When you and I judge others we assume the worst of them. Judging is when you speak about someone’s sin and you feel no compassion. You have no obligation to help, and you...
When we started dating our spouse, the time we set aside to invest in that relationship was huge. We carved out time to talk; we spent hours on the phone; we spent money we didn’t have to buy flowers; we drove long distances just to see them for a few hours; we went out to dinner three...
Author Brennan Manning says this in his book, Abba’s Child:
In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.
What if your past...
Each week we receive emails from men and women that read our blog faithfully. They too had a vision for their marriage. They dreamed of happily ever after. Some have kids. Some have a house with a white picket fence. All of them had the desire for a life that is drastically different than what...
A few months after I left vocational ministry in 2005, I got a commission only job as an executive recruiter. My job was to find banks in the Chicago area that were in need of commercial bankers, then find talented, high producing commercial bankers to fill those positions. The problem was I had...
Last week Justin did a post giving advice to his 22-Year-old self. That post got me (Trisha) reflecting on time and decisions. Thinking back a few short years ago, okay maybe a lot of years ago when I was twenty-two, I’m reminded of how much God has carried me through.
I’m...
Three years into our marriage we were upside down financially. We had purchased our first home, had two car payments and as many credit cards as my youth pastor salary would allow. We were living paycheck to paycheck. We argued everyday about money. We were stressed about money. Trisha knew we...
Yesterday was a long day. Long. Counseling. Meeting. More counseling. Email. Meeting. Dinner meeting. Trish and I got to the church around 7PM and I picked up Isaiah while Trish stayed at church for the rest of our student event.
As we were driving out of the parking lot, she sent me a text:...
About 8 weeks before the affair started, a pastor-friend of mine questioned my relationship with that particular staff member. He wasn’t accusing me of anything; he was questioning my heart and giving me an opportunity to be honest and come clean. Telling the truth in that moment would have...
I just celebrated my 39th birthday. Not sure “celebrated” captures how I feel about it. I am in my last year of my thirties and retrospection seems to be a natural response to getting older.
I was thinking about the last seventeen years. Seventeen years of marriage. Sixteen years of...
There are people that specialize in accident reconstruction. They go into a situation and reconstruct every detail of an accident to give an explanation of exactly how the accident happened, the cause of the accident, and most importantly-how the accident could have been avoided. What was...
Why are we surprised when life gets hard? Life has problems. Relationships are destined for conflict. Financial stability is never guaranteed.
For some reason, we assume life with God means life with ease. That isn’t the case at all.
Friendship is hard.
Marriage is hard.
Integrity is hard.
...A little over six years ago, I was struggling to move past my past. I was haunted in my dreams about the mistakes I made. I was reminded of the people I hurt and wounded with my poor choices. I knew God forgave me; I knew my wife forgave me; but couldn’t find the grace needed to...
So many of us in life live with an underlying sense of disappointment. Our life isn’t bad, it just isn’t what we thought it would be. Our life with God isn’t bad, it just isn’t what we thought it would be. We want to get back to that night at church camp when we felt...
