I wonder how much of my (Justin) life I’ve wasted being insecure? For the first 32 years of my life, I am not sure there was another dysfunction that drove my life more than insecurity. I got cut from the basketball team in 7th and 8th grade, and from that point forward, I always...
A few weeks ago, Trisha wanted to mulch the flower beds in our front yard. It was blazing hot outside and the last thing I really wanted to do was landscape. But for her, landscaping is her escape; it is something she really enjoys. So I went to Home Depot and bought 12 bags of mulch....
When our marriage melted down in 2005, Trisha and I thought that the things that we struggled with, the problems that we had and the issues we faced were unique to us. For the next year and a half, we spent a lot of time identifying our issues, talking about our problems and...
On Sunday night, our two older boys and I stayed up for a guy’s movie night. We don’t watch many movies that aren’t animated, so we were all excited about Invictus. I was in high school when Nelson Mandela was released from prison, so I had some knowledge of the story,...
The past few weeks have been pretty hard. We have spoken to so many couples that are struggling: Struggling with news of an affair, devastated by catching their husband looking at pornography, lost as they don’t know how to put back the pieces to a marriage that seems beyond repair.
At some...
Trisha and I meet and talk with couples several times per month. One of the most common issues that we’ve observed is a lack of unity. The Bible calls it “oneness”. We would say it like this “They are on different pages.”
No one gets married hoping to...
The Bellevue Campus of Cross Point shares a parking lot with Toys R Us and with Sonic; both of which are detrimental to our budget. A few weeks ago my son Isaiah and I were going to the Bellevue Campus and we pulled into the parking lot by Toys R Us. As we drove past and he said,...
Yesterday, I was given the opportunity to speak in week two of our series People of the Second Chance at Cross Point. We talked about the Elder Brother in the story of the Prodigal Son.
One of the character traits of the elder brother is feeling superior by being judgmental....
Years ago, I bought a book by Lewis Smedes called The Art of Forgiveness. I haven’t picked it up in years. This summer, Trisha and I are taking a step of faith with our non-profit ministry, RefineUs Marriage Ministries, and are doing a couple of marriage conferences in...
Yesterday on Twitter, someone posted a quote from C.S. Lewis. The quote caught my attention and sat with me for most of the day.
Pride is a spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment or even common sense.
So often when Trish and I share our story,...
There are certain rules to every relationship. There are principles that are true even though relationships and people and circumstance may be different. As Trisha and I talk with couples and coach couples in their marriage, there is a principle that all of us know, but very few of us...
Three days after the affair came out, Trisha’s brother came to stay with her. Trish and I were already separated, and weren’t talking to each other. Our marriage was on life-support. I had no way of knowing that her brother was in town…until he showed up at the house...
It is so much easier to write about where I’ve been and what I’ve overcome rather than were I’m at and what I’ve yet to figure out. The truth is today, I’m tired. I’m emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausted.
I’ve been here before. I’ve...
A Dry Season is when you feel like you are doing everything right, but God is distant. You feel like you are praying, but God isn’t hearing or answering. You feel like you are spending enough time in God’s Word, but His Word isn’t changing you, speaking to you, reaching you. You...
When I was in 7th grade, I was a total dork. I got beat up all the time, made fun of, cut from the basketball team. I was a mess. In the midst of the worst year of my life, my youth pastor, Jon Sullivan said to me “I see something great in you. I’d love for you to preach the...
You don’t have the capacity to redeem yourself, but you do have a Redeemer.
You don’t have the capacity to change yourself, but you do have a Transformer.
You don’t have the ability to forgive your sins, but you do have a Forgiver.
You don’t have the power to heal...
